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Monday, January 21, 2013

Abandonment wound....

Even the simplest of rejections seem to ignite that abandonment wound!

Abandonment to me is simply the sweet way of life forcing us to focus more on our self to get through, by the absence of someone else.
If not, why are we always stronger after facing something alone?

I wonder if that wound ever heals completely.

Hmmm I do not believe that wound will ever heal completely. It just takes more to trigger it, and it doesn't last as long. 
Sometimes I think the scar remains to remind us with a wee twinge every once in awhile. If only to show us how far we've come.....but it may depend on how deep the wound goes, I do believe that many wounds can be seen all the way through to completion, but not every wound.

I remember in a deep meditation, my 'voice' said to me: When you are grounded in me, there is no abandonment!
Didn't stop the tears, in case you were wondering!
But it did soothe.

The healing comes with holding ourselves and every aspect of the wound in compassion. When the memory becomes swaddled in love it no longer hurts.
Then we can see it as a lesson our soul came here to learn rather than a trauma we hold in our hearts.

Ironically, the person who is abandoned somehow could not or would not acknowledge it even it looks obvious to others.
Only with this awareness we’ll be able to CHOOSE a healthier way to respond to the wound, let go of the wrong connection.

When I was younger, my abandonment wound was so deep that it compelled me to hang on to connections that no longer served me.

If someone close to me looked away, I fused.

But that is no longer true.

Now I let go of the connection. The wound is never fully healed, but it has come a long way.

Some monsters get smaller and smaller over time, until they can barely impact on our daily lives.

Graduating from the school of heart knocks, one little test at a time......

I feel our wounds might not be fully healed but they become a source of deep creativity and transformation, a voice our being finds in its scars that can turn anything into gold and light.