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Sunday, February 28, 2016


The only thing that matters is to realize that there is only one true love, and that is the love for oneself, through loving and knowing oneself we obtain from the capacity to love and know others.
We don't need to seek others to make ourselves whole.
But if we become whole through self love, and understanding we attract like minded people and everything will fall into place.
We all have a Choice.
That is the only thing we need to understand.
Hardship and struggle doesn’t equal personal growth or a better life nor does choosing an 'easy path' whatever that means equal a shallow life or waste of a life.

If the choice we make is based on a conscious decision, based on our sub-conscious awareness then that the path we walk, that the path that makes us happy.
Life is actually very simple, we need to listen to our subconscious, our emotions, for they are telling us what we like or do not like, unclouded and without the rationalisation and justification interference of our brain.

The most important thing of all:
If you wish to increase happiness, do not aim to increase possessions; simply decrease your desires for possessions.
Love and a happy life is the only thing that fulfill us.

There is no such thing as destiny, only the destiny we create! We are not a drop in the ocean; we are the entire ocean in a drop.

love light and peace

Day 63

Friday, February 26, 2016

This is my present reality, on my knees at the altar of emptiness and not knowing....

Dare to allow yourself to be seen.
Dare to tell the truth.
Dare to stop pretending.
Dare to stay present to the secret fire that burns inside.
Dare to be wildly inconsistent.
Dare to let another in.
Dare to let go of the image.
Dare to never be prepared.
Dare to give everything
for the awakening of love
Dare to fail.
Dare to mess everything up.
Dare to fall to the ground,
humbled again, laughing.
Dare to dream and let dreams die.
Dare to honour the past but not cling to it.
Dare to give an honest Yes and an honest No.
Dare to be wrong.
Dare to be right.
Dare to be real.
Dare to be here.


love light and peace

Day 60

Wednesday, February 24, 2016

Somehow I am always held....

Bow to each breath.
Prostrate yourself before every feeling.
Worship at the altar of every tingly bodily sensation.
Savour every sound, feel the perfection in every perception.
You are alive, and your aliveness is the world!
Nothing is personal here, so everything is a gift!

In my short time on this planet, I have known great sorrow, plunged into the depths of oceanic despair, been thrown so deeply into my loneliness that I thought I would never return. 
I have tasted the ecstatic joys of meditation, the fierce intimacy of love, the savage pains of heartbreak, the excitement of unexpected success and the blows of sudden failure. 
There were times when I thought I’d never make it, times when my dreams had been shattered so thoroughly I couldn’t imagine how life could ever go on. 
Yet it went on, and sometimes I found humility within the devastation, and out of the ashes of imagined futures often grew new and present joys, and no experience was ever wasted.
I have come to trust life completely, 
trust even the times when I forget how to trust at all, 
trust that life doesn’t always go according to plan, because there is no plan, only life, and even the times of great uncertainty hold supreme intelligence, and sometimes you have to fall to stand more fearlessly, with greater kindness.
And somehow I am always held, in a way I cannot explain and do not want to. I may be crushed yet again before too long, I may experience further seemingly insurmountable challenges and heartbreaks, but somehow I am always held.

Somehow I am always held.

love light and peace

Monday, February 22, 2016

Nothing to Do...

I find myself with nothing to do but be. It feels like that isn’t enough for all of us who were taught from childhood to accomplish. 
Surely I should be accomplishing something that feels necessary or vital. But breathing might fall into both of those categories. 
I have the bad habit of trying to fix myself and life. 
Life doesn’t need fixing and neither do I. For human fixing just adds to the sum total of the world’s suffering. Mum is gone for good. 
Can I sit here with this feeling of utter failure, this sense that it is all out of my hands anyway? 
Does the stone I feel in my body need to stay until it has served its purpose? 
The stone in my throat, in my heart, in my belly; everyone knows that feeling of mortality the heaviness, the sorrow, the burial in matter. 
All I can do is be with in my nothingness. 
For fixing suffering is beyond human abilities. 
No one understood this. 
Let us rest together in our emptiness, in our foolishness. Perhaps rest is what brings in the miracles performed by what is not of the human capacity to deliver. 
Let us turn to the simple words found in simply let it be it's the opposite direction of our brainwashing. 

For quite some time now, I find the brainwashing has been on a high speed spin cycle. The foolishness has mostly gone done the drain....mostly. 
All there is, is this Eternal Now Moment. 
The only escape is into awareness. 
We knock at the door of self-comforting but there is nobody home. Only God is home. Only IT can open the door that you are and IT is. 
The void demands your absence and your presence. 
Once you master that, anything is possible....

Sorrow is the greatest teacher. It's too bad but it' the truth.

love light and peace

Sunday, February 21, 2016

Love yourself and feel completely at peace with yourself and the world around you.

Learn that you are in control of who you are, and how you react to people and situations really portrays how you feel inside. 
Started not caring about what others thought of you, and learn to love yourself, you will notice that others would want to be around you more. 
Changed for the better, and feel amazing because you have accepted that you the one that needs to love YOU, not needing everyone to love you just because you want them to. 
Love yourself, love your strengths and you will go far. When you truly love yourself sharing love is your focus the need to judge others recedes. 
It's something we all need to work on...compassion over judgement.

I was fortunate to be told when I was in my early 20’s. What you don't like about someone turns that thought and find you dislike the same things in yourself. 
This is very true and really makes a person pay better attention and be a better person thus loving one’s self and looking for the good in others. 
I always remember this when a poor thought comes to mind and it smartens me up right fast on another note, you never know what may cause someone else's troubles. 
Send them positive thoughts instead!!!
Often we forget who we are; we live in a world of greed, in a world of judging each other, in a world of monetary gain and scaled by our financial success. 
Yet we forget the most powerful tool yourself our love of yourself we wish to have what others have, yet we don't know how depressing their life's are. 
Be happy you are what you are accept to be at peace with yourself - enjoy to laugh, enjoy to love and when you least expect there will be others along your side because that is the only true path of life the other is just a temporary state of mind.
Stop referring to yourself in the third person simple really. You just cannot, under any circumstances, do, be, treat or act in any way shape or form, towards yourself. 
When you love yourself you can also love others but if you forget about yourself then you create a space that is a danger zone!! 
For you and everyone around you!!

You can get lost when you are treated badly by others. But the truth is, the little shits they have made you feel bad about yourself, well remember they are just one little pinprick in the universe. 
Yes sadly we share this world with this shitty people. So remember they are just a pinprick, think that is very fitting.

There is no heaven, no hell, take responsibility for you, live for here and now with no fear or expectation of reward.

love light and peace

Saturday, February 20, 2016


 This is for anyone who is going through a crisis, big or small.

"I know that sometimes it feels like everything's falling apart, and even the most beautiful spiritual words sound like bullshit, meaningless, flowery, new-age drivel.
We lose everything we thought defined us, or made us happy, everything that seemed to matter to us, and it feels like we will never recover. We are left in total despair, disappointment, disillusionment. It seems like 'the end', with no hope of recovery.

Yet in life, there are no true endings, only transformations, new beginnings emerging from rubble. Old dreams dying, the false falling away, which can be excruciatingly painful, of course, of course! Destruction, breakdowns, disruptions, shocks and losses, often feel like enemies, but always contain seeds of the new, and sometimes it just takes time to recover.

This devastation you are going through, this crucifixion of dreams you feel, is an opportunity to let go of EVERY SINGLE IDEA you've ever had of how your life was "supposed to be", all those cherished dreams that were simply false, yet beautiful and useful at the same time.

The invitation today is to be present to your life, to wake up to it, to turn towards this immediacy, to dignify what is actually happening where you are.
If there is loneliness visiting you here and now, do not turn away.
If there is fear, do not push it away or try to escape.
If there is frustration, anxiety, or just a quiet sense of hopelessness moving in you, do not reject these energies. 
They just want to be felt, now. 
They are not wrong.

Sometimes life brings us to our knees so that we will FEEL everything we've been running away from all our lives. 
And yes, the 'meeting' may hurt.
But perhaps feeling the hurt is the beginning of healing, not the ending of it.
And watch the mind.
How it constantly spins, rewinds and fast-forwards, constantly leaves the present scene of your life, here and now.
Thought is constantly running away from the present moment. It goes into memory - of how good things were before, of how wonderful your life used to be. And it longs to return there. And it feels unable to. And despair results.
And it fast-forwards into the future, imagining all kinds of future scenarios, many dark and scary. It takes you into regions way beyond your control. And both movements into past and future disconnect you from where you are NOW, which is all there is.
They take you away from your only point of power - this moment.

But this moment is all there is. This breath. These sensations. Present sounds, smells. Present beating of the heart, the feeling of your butt on the chair.
A little bird singing on the tree outside.
The buzz of the television over there.
A feeling of contraction in the chest, tenderness in the throat.
This is a call to radical, radical simplicity.
To honouring the not-knowing.
To admitting humility in the face of life.

Without the story of past and future, can you really know that your life has 'gone wrong'?
For that is the belief at the core of everything, isn't it?

That your life has 'gone wrong'. That the 'me' has failed somehow. That the universe is cruel and somehow against you.
It's an intelligent conclusion to make, yes.
I won't judge you for it.
But perhaps it's not the truth.
Perhaps the mind doesn't know.

Our disillusionment, our inability to believe all those spiritual teachings now, including my own, is not a mistake - it is pure intelligence at work!
Our disillusionment is part of waking up, not the end of waking up!

This is all an invitation to a deeper awakening than you ever thought possible.

You are being forced to question everything - everything - including all those cherished spiritual teachings that once held so much value.
You are being called to find your own authority, to let go of all those bullshit ideas about what 'a good life' means.
You are being invited to let go of everything second-hand, everything old, everything received - from parents, teachers, gurus - everything in memory, and be present to life, raw and naked.

Sometimes we have to lose everything to remember our total humility, to remember that we are not in control, and that each moment is full of wonder and thrilling uncertainty.
You are on a path of devastation now - it was exactly what it is.

This is not the end for you - it is the beginning of a new and different life, a new way of moving in the world, however hard that is to see. It is a time of renewal, of slowing-down, of discovering the abundance contained within the nothingness.
A time to be kinder to yourself. There is so much potential for you, friend, even if you cannot believe that.
There have been many times in my own life when I felt unable to go on, unable to stand. I felt that I had lost everything, that nothing was possible, and that the void was the only life. But I just didn't know what the universe had in store.
Even though you feel lonely and abandoned, frightened and angry, friend, know that many others are walking with you, and many others understand.
You will write your own book of transformation one day.

This moment, friend. THIS moment."
love light and peace

day 55

Thursday, February 18, 2016

Hope is a traveler...

You can only heal your heart with your heart, and to do that we have to open the heart wide enough for its healing elixir to rain down on our pain. 
Why bury the tears that heal us? 
Why bury the emotions that fertilize our expansion? 

Emotional release is a potent way to regain a genuine experience of the moment. 
Tears are God’s heart shield wipers. They clear the dirt from our heart so we can see the path clearly. Let our quest for spiritual expansion begin with emotional authenticity. 

Nothing to hide, nowhere to hide it.  
Maybe instead of saying 
"what's wrong?", when we see someone crying, 
we could say 
"how beautiful your heart is open. It's so great you are very courageous and allowing this energy to move through you. I am here for you. Let me know if you need anything." 

In all of my tears lately I'm aware of how I could look like I am "not doing well" to others who might pass me on my night walks. In reality, 
I am coming more into my body and opening up to new awareness and realness, and while I do hurt sometimes, 
I am aware that I cannot feel happy or love if I don't let the tears out.

love light and peace

Its time we stop hiding..

I am always surprised when friends apologize for being in a bad mood, or sharing their life challenges when I bump into them, as though there is something wrong with sharing our difficulties with each other. 
This is yet another example of the bullshit world we have created in, where we are only acceptable to each other if we share good news. 
I often wonder if we are resistant to other’s bad news because we are trying to bypass our own difficulties. Whatever it is, this has to shift. 
We aren’t going to co-create a genuinely positive world until we can hold the space for each other’s shadow. 
Better an authentic frown than an inauthentic smile any day. A smile that is built on a pretentious foundation isn’t a smile at all.

I know we often want it happy and positive, but that’s just not where much of humanity is. Many of us are overwhelmed with pain, undigested sadness, unexpressed anger, unseen truths. This is where we are at, as a collective. So we have two choices. 
We can continue to pretend it’s not there, cover it over, shame and shun it in ourselves and others, distract and detach whenever possible. 
Or, we can face it heart-on, own it within ourselves, look for it in others with compassion, and create a culture that is focused on authenticity and healthy emotional release. 
If we continue to push it all down, we are both creating illness, and delaying our collective expansion. 

But if we can just own the shadow, express it, release it, love each other through it we can finally graduate from the School of Heart Knocks and begin to enjoy this magnificent life as we were intended. Pretending the pain isn’t there just embeds it further. 

Let’s illuminate it instead.

The path of life is not soft and sweet. 
It is not artificially blissful and feigned forgiving. 
It is not fearful of divisiveness. 
It is not afraid of its own shadow. 
It is not afraid of losing popularity when it speaks its truth. 
It will not beat around the bush where directness is essential. 
It has no regard for vested interests that cause suffering. 
It is benevolent and it is fiery and it is cuttingly honest in its efforts to liberate itself and humanity from the ego ties that bind. 

Ordinary life is the miracle, as it is the mundane and the everyday. 
Every joy, every pain, every moment of profound doubt is none other than that which we have always sought. 
No special revelation is required here. We never need to wait for grace. This blessing cannot be transmitted by special beings taught by enlightened gurus, bought or sold. It is simpler, closer, more freely available, and more intimate.

love light and peace

Thursday, February 11, 2016

"Grieve. so that you can be free to feel something else."

Some periods of our growth are so confusing that we don’t even recognize that growth is happening. We may feel hostile or angry or weepy and hysterical, or we may feel depressed. 
It would never occur to us, unless we stumbled on a book or a person who explained to us, that we were in fact in the process of change, of actually becoming larger, spiritually, than we were before. 
Whenever we grow, we tend to feel it, as a young seed must feel the weight and inertia of the earth as it seeks to break out of its shell on its way to becoming a plant. 
Often the feeling is anything but pleasant. 
But what is most unpleasant does the not know what is happening. 
Those long periods when something inside ourselves seems to be waiting, 
holding its breath, 
unsure about what the next step should be, 
eventually become the periods we wait for, 
for it is in those periods that we realize that we are being prepared for the next phase of our life and that, in all probability, 
a new level of the personality is about to be revealed.

love light and peace

Tuesday, February 9, 2016

A PRAYER FOR THE LIVING. Life breaks, fixes, helps me every moment, it brings a deeper humility & trust. Let this moment be a companion, feel its warm presence. Let me die living, laughing, beautifully, opening to life with gratitude.

Break in me whatever needs to be broken.
Fix my hope of ever being fixed.
Use me. Draw every ounce of creativity out of me. Help me live a radically unique life, forever forging a never-before-trodden path in the forest.
Show me how to love more deeply than I ever thought possible.
Whatever I am still turning away from, keep shoving in my face.
Whatever I am still at war with, help me soften towards, relax into, and fully embrace.
Where my heart is still closed, show me a way to open it without violence.
Where I am still holding on, help me let go.
Give me challenges and struggles and seemingly insurmountable obstacles, if that will bring an even deeper humility and trust in the intelligence of life.
Help me laugh at my own seriousness.
Allow me to find the humour in the dark places.
Show me a profound sense of rest in the midst of the storm.
Don't spare me from the truth. Ever.
Let gratitude be my guide.
Let forgiveness be my mantra.
Let this moment be a constant companion.
Let me see your face in every face.
Let me feel your warm presence in my own presence.
Hold me when I stumble.
Breathe me when I cannot breathe.

Let me die living, not live dying.

As one grows wiser, it becomes all the more obvious that our ego is not in control and life is to be lived with gusto damn the consequences! 
Each moment s a precious gift, receive it with full gratitude.

Living life means asking for nothing in return. Give, give, and give some more. The fundamental essence of life, peace, and joy which together form the absolute core of one's being come truly alive when one has absolutely nothing left to give.

love light and peace

The messy way...

These are things we learn through the journey of life. I think when we are young we are just too busy living everyday life and don't think about these things till we are older.

How come some people seems to just slip into their "calling" so effortlessly, and they are still assholes? It’s like they were given this straight road with their passion intact, and they are mean. 
They can even be brilliant.

love light and peace

Sunday, February 7, 2016

Eventually all the pieces of your puzzle will fit, and then it will ALL make perfect sense... There are no extra pieces.

Perfection of Life is felt when we understand reality has many sides, and there is bound to be positive and negative experiences balanced at a neutral centre. Being able to observe challenges from a neutral point gives us clarity with less attachments to feeling a victor or victim and stay as students to life.

Perfection is an attitude, either it is there or it is absent.

*The fragrance of CHANGE*

Raise your standards mentally and do whatever it takes to make it your physical reality. No, you don't have to justify and explain it to the world. 
Those who get it will get it. 
The rest will SEE it.

love light and peace

Wednesday, February 3, 2016

Faith is not a religious concept but relate to all secular matters, not being convinced of a claim doesn't require faith.

The theist often struggles with the irrelevance of their belief to the secular. Many seem to think we need something to replace it. I no more need a replacement than a lifetime non smoker needs a nicotine patch.
Self-centeredness and religion go hand in hand. 
If my sister were able to see how little religion means to me she just might figure out that she matter to me regardless of her self-labelling. It is, however, seemingly impossible for her to separate her own self from the indoctrinated self.

Really, I think that if screening had been going on when I was a child I would have been considered "on the spectrum". NOT good at "blocking."

This is true there are some people in your life family or not, that I have come to realized that they don't belong in my life; they are just not for me! 
I have learned to be okay with that.
My friendship is priceless, and it is given to those who appreciate and would care for me and my welfare. Those people are hard to find, but when found I will, have and shall give my friendship freely.

This morning as I was walking down a familiar path, suddenly there are questions raging, questions that seem to demand immediate answers. 
What to do with this precious gift of a life? 
Where to go? 
What to say next? 
Which choice to make or not make? 
Which voice to listen to? 
How to make everything okay? 
How to hold it all together? 
How to avoid falling apart?

And suddenly the questions cannot hold, they shatter into a million silences, because a tiny bird has perched itself on the path in front of you, perched in the here and now, not in the there and then in which you are seeking your answers. 
You keep staring at it, and then came an answer, the unexpected bird was telling me>>>>>you know that everything is okay with the universe. Questions will get answered, or not, and solutions will appear or not appear at the perfect time, because you will make yourself available to them, as you are available now to this tiny and unexpected bird.

Perhaps today is not a day for answers and unshakeable certainties; it is a day for birdsong and staying close to questions as they walk with you down familiar paths.

love light and peace
38 day

Tuesday, February 2, 2016

It's "stand-down" programming designed to extinguish the passion and yearning to fulfill the mission you came to Earth to complete. Shake off all that nonsense & complacency, STAND UP AND BE THE CHANGE YOU SEEK!

I am so tired of people saying, 
“You are exactly where you are supposed to be,” 
no matter what someone’s life circumstances and challenges. 

Yes, there is no question that we can often learn something of value wherever we are on the path; and yes, we may have, in some situations, attracted the exact challenge that we need to grow, 
BUT that does not mean that we are ALWAYS where we are supposed to be, or that we chose our reality. 

Telling that to someone in every situation even when they are ill or suffering tremendously is arrogant, and adds insult to injury. 
Sometimes we need a kick in the ass, and sometimes we are just a victim of terrible circumstances. Sometimes we chose our reality, and sometimes it just chose us. 
Sometimes our suffering is needless and the result of other people’s wrongdoing. 

Compassion demands that we hold the space for other’s challenges with a wide open heart. Let them decide if they are exactly where they are supposed to be. 
It’s not for us to say.

love light and peace

Day 37