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Sunday, June 17, 2018

There is a VAST difference between 'judging' and exercising judgment with understanding and that of being 'judgmental'. Many folk conflate the two.

Don’t judge! Oh goodness, we are judging all the time. 

And thank God for that- it keeps us from walking down the wrong paths, making unhealthy decisions, destroying our lives. 
Even those who criticize judgment are judging. It's fundamental to the human experience. Perhaps the real question is not IF we are judging or discerning if you prefer, but WHY we are judging? 
Is it benevolently or malevolently intended? 
Are we judging in a forward-moving effort to distinguish unhealthy from healthy, or are we judging as a reflection of an unresolved superiority complex? 
Are we judging because we have a need to call out the madness of the world, or as a direct reflection of it? 
Where are we coming FROM?

I feel startled and infuriated by those who call people who suicide "cowards". It is the heights of arrogance and insensitivity to imagine ourselves judges over a person's decision to stay or to go. 
Only the individual knows what trauma they are carrying, what pain they have known, and what darkness blankets their inner world, what courage it has taken to even stay this long. 
Only the individual soul knows what path it is here to walk and when its time has come. If you are lucky enough to have never considered suicide in this challenging world, then get down on your knees and thank your lucky stars. 

Really, get down and kiss the ground and give thanks. But do not judge those who have made a different choice. 
But for the grace of God there go you...

If someone dies from heart disease, we don't blame them and call them cowards. "They should have exercised more.""They should have eaten better."
If someone dies from skin cancer, we don't blame them and call them cowards. "They should have worn sunscreen.""They should have gone to the dermatologist."
If someone dies from depression, we blame them and call them cowards. "They should have picked themselves up and gotten over it" "They should have stopped being so selfish."

We have a long, long road towards ending the stigma of "mental" illness. Until we see all illness as an illness, without qualifiers or distinctions like this is physical and this is mental, then there won't be insurance, funding, compassion, empathy, or an end to the crisis of severe depression.

We lose so many people every day to an unresolved pain that overwhelms their consciousness. More than 800,000 people suicide each year worldwide and around one person every 40 seconds. Few are well-known. 
Most live anonymous lives. 
We must prioritize authentic revealing and emotional release in our world. We must slow down to see each other deeply and to share our inner worlds so that no one feels alone with their pain. 
We must find a way to bring our compassion to bare with others. 
There are so many of us here, yet so many suffer in isolation. We have to keep peeling the masks away. We have to keep sharing our truths. We have to. 
Our survival depends on it.

love light and peace


Thursday, June 7, 2018

If you want to change your thinking, heal your heart...

"To arrive at this place in my life, I had to overcome so very much. I had to overcome crippling abandonment issues, internalized shame, and self-doubt. I had to punch my way through endless challenges as I worked to become the person I am and to surrender to writing as a path. 
I had to fight for my right to the light, time and time again, for more than 5 decades.

If there is one thing that distinguishes those who are able to move on from crazy families, from those who remain dysfunctionally trapped within them, it is that the former were able to disidentify with where they came from and seek their identity elsewhere. At some point, they made the courageous, bold decision that they were not them and that they had to look elsewhere for direction and family. This is often a very difficult thing to do because crazy families don’t usually give us the love that grows us capable of taking flight, but it is the only possibility if you wish to break the cycle. Someone has to step out and craft a new path home. Some realities are worth running from…

We all want to manifest our callings, but timing is everything. I learned this the hard way. I always knew I would write, but I didn’t understand that I needed to build the foundation first.
 So, I sat down to write, time and again, and I couldn’t quite find it. I knew there was a writer living in there somewhere, but I couldn’t find her. I needed a little more time, a little more suffering, a lot more lessons. I hadn’t lived enough to manifest her.
In this driven world, we are often pushed too early. We are shamed for our uncertainty, insulted for our confusion, called lazy and selfish. But some callings need time to be cultivated. Some gifts cannot be opened too quickly. We have to craft them first, over time, in the fires of lived experience.
If you have a calling living inside of you, don’t rush to manifest it. Trust your own instincts as to the steps you need to take. Build the inner foundation you will need to see it through. Better to offer this ailing world one remarkable thing, than a hundred fragments of possibility.
We need what you have to offer desperately.
We must not give up. It takes so much time to heal because we are not just healing our own wounds we are healing the world’s wounds, too. We think we are alone with our ‘stuff’, but we aren’t. With every clearing of our emotional debris, with every foray into a healthier way of being, with every excavation and release of old material, we heal the collective heart. So many of our familial and karmic ancestors had little opportunity to heal their pains. When we heal, their spirits breathe a sigh of relief. We heal them backwards while healing ourselves forward.
We heal in unison.
When people ask me how and why I did it, I only have one answer- Soul. Not ego, not masochism, not the need to be acknowledged but, instead, the deep need to fully excavate and actualize my soul’s voice- my reasons for being, my entelechy, what James Hillman called the ‘innate image’. It was like a desperate longing to be who I was called to become in this lifetime. And as difficult as it was to find and live that voice, it was easier than the uncomfortable alternative. It was easier than living a lie.
Wherever you are at on your journey through time, be assured that there is a soul path somewhere at the heart of it. And, as difficult as it may be to see it, as overwhelming as it may seem to embody it, it is well worth the effort. Once you catch a glimpse of it, it will beckon you home, like a fire of divine possibility with your name on it. And that fire… will not only show you the direction to walk, it will fuel you as you overcome the obstacles in the way. It will warm and inspire your every step.
When you walk through the gateway of your sacred purpose, you walk into yourself. Blessing buffered from the madness of the world, your purpose filters out those relationships and energies that undermine your expansion. Infused with vitality and a clarified focus, new pathways of possibility appear where before there were obstacles. Life still has its challenges, but you interface with them differently, coated in an authenticity of purpose that sees through the veils to what really matters."
Don’t lose the faith, wherever you are on the path.
Keep going…

Sometimes we forget how far we have travelled while we are looking ahead to the next steps. Good to lie down and remember what it took to get this far, all those karmic hoops we had to jump through, all those overcomings. Good to stroke our face with love and to remind ourselves how much courage it took and who we would have become if we hadn’t braved the journey. Good to say ‘thank you’ to the inner spirit that walks within and beside us, whispering sweet somethings in our inner ear, reminding us that we are simply and utterly worth fighting for. We ARE simply
and utterly worth fighting for.

Growing is all about leaps into the seeming unknown...

Presence is a whole being experience..

love light and peace

Saturday, April 28, 2018

Most of the shadows of this life are caused by standing in one's own sunshine.

Bowing deeply in gratitude.....for having been taught to think before speaking my feelings. 
Always maintain your sense of wonder
My spirit is unique and beautiful.
Give yourself the room to breathe so that you can feel its gorgeous light showing you, and the world, your true and authentic self.

On a journey of self-discovery that is so far more about the journey than the discovery. Grateful for all the abundance in my life.

love light and peace

Tuesday, April 24, 2018


Wanting to live, and wanting to die.
Wanting to break free, and wanting to hide.
Wanting to connect, and wanting to be alone.

Wanting to want,
and wanting to be free from want.

You hold ALL of these things
in your vast and beautiful heart.

Never turn away from any part.
Yet never let any part be your master.

Be free and wild like the trees in the forest:

Reach out for the light, yes,
but love your shadows too.


love light and peace

Monday, April 23, 2018


All over the world, and in the news every day, people killing people. 
People on one ‘side’ killing people on the other ‘side’. 
Each ‘side’ claiming that they are right. 
Each ‘side’ holding onto ancient pain, each ‘side’ unwilling be the first to let go, coming up with all the reasons in the world why they can't and won't. 

A tragic tale as old as humanity itself.

When will we wake up to the obvious fact that we are all the same Consciousness in disguise? 

That no matter who we think we are, no matter how we appear, beyond our stories and histories, our religions, our nationalities, our beliefs, the colour of our skin, our heavy pasts and uncertain futures, we are all expressions of the One life? 

That in truth there are no Israelis or Palestinians, Jews or Christians, Muslims or Buddhists, atheists or agnostics, Republicans or Democrats, gurus or disciples, that those images can never define us. 

That who we truly are at the most fundamental level is indefinable, mysterious, never fixed or separate, never identified with an image, just as the vast ocean can never be defined by its waves.

Consciousness has no religion and no nationality. 

It gives birth to light and dark, the yin and yang of the ever-changing dream world.

As consciousness itself, 

when we hurt each other, 
we are only hurting our own brothers and sisters, our own kin, waves of ourselves. 
We are only fighting reflections of our original Face. 
We are only killing the ones we love, ancient friends from long ago.

Outer war has never lead to inner peace. 

How much more bloodshed? 
How much more pain? 
How many more men, women, and children must disappear into infinity before we wake up?

That bleeding child is my own. 

The circle of life takes no 'sides'. 


love light and peace

Sunday, April 22, 2018


Your sadness doesn't say, 
"Please fix me, heal me, or release me". 

It doesn't say, 
"Please get rid of me, numb yourself to me, pretend I'm not here". 

It certainly doesn't say, 
"Please get enlightened so I can die!".

Sadness does not come to punish you, or reveal to you what a 'spiritual failure' you are. 

Sadness is not a sign that you are unevolved or far from healing, awakening, enlightenment, even peace. The presence of sadness is not an indication that you've done something wrong.

Sadness only whispers, "May I come in? I am tired, I long for rest".

And you reply, "But sadness, I don't know how to allow you in!"

And sadness replies, "It's okay. You don't need to know. I'm already in".

And so we bow to sadness then, we recognise how it's already allowed in, how there's enough room in us for sadness, 

how we are not 'the sad one', not contained within sadness, but the room for sadness, its space, its home, its salvation, its loving embrace; not as a goal, but as our nature - consciousness itself, already free.

Don't heal yourself from sadness; let sadness heal you. 

Let it show you the way when you have forgotten. 
Let it reveal to you the mysteries of love. 
Let it remind you of your vast heart, your refusal to split off from any part of your ancient Self, that bigger 

The happiness you danced when you were young.


love light and peace


The 'amateur' is the 'lover',
the one who adores raw experience,
the one who remains curious, open, inquisitive, fascinated,
the one who exists in permanent meditation,
the one who doesn't know.
The expert gets stuck in second-hand answers.
The expert knows, so they stop looking.
The expert cannot rest.
The expert cannot meditate.
Meditation means beholding the moment with
fresh eyes and ears and heart.
Meditation means being a total amateur,
losing the inner 'expert' and beginning again.
Drenching the moment with kind attention...
Never knowing what you'll find...
Don't make 'acceptance' into a goal.
Don't make 'being okay with everything' into a goal.
Don't make 'peace' into a goal, or 'silence', 
or 'joy', or 'bliss' or 'calm'.
Or 'enlightenment'.
Or even 'healing'.
Don't make anything into a goal.
A goal is a jail, a prison.
And if you make something into a goal, that's okay too.
Simply notice the goal-generating mechanism now.
Acknowledge it.
And turn back towards your present experience
with fresh eyes and an innocent, open heart.
Begin again.
If you find acceptance here, wonderful.
If you find non-acceptance here, wonderful.
If you find sadness here, wonderful.
If you find a wild mind, uncomfortable feelings,
a pressure in the head, a heaviness in the heart,
a non-acceptance, a rejection, a frustration,
an urge to 'get rid of',
can you begin there?

Can you flush your experience with warm attention?

Can you drench this moment with awareness, which is love?
And if you can't... can you acknowledge even THAT?

And drench even THAT with awareness?

So that everything is included?

Everything is acknowledged as LIFE?

Everything is fundamentally okay?

Even the parts of you that don't feel okay?

And if this isn't possible, that's okay too.
There's no image to live up to.
No goal to reach.
No jail to escape.
Fail. Fail well.
And remember...
All your ancestors are holding you now.
And the Earth and all the stars are supporting you.
And our hearts are with you in your struggle.
And you are not alone in this presence, at this moment,
in this sacred space called Here And Now.
You are worthy of Life, drenched in Life, supported by Life, full of Life, illuminated by Life, breathed by Life, adored by Life, lived by Life.


love light and peace