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Monday, May 21, 2012

I Remember that Journey....


That endless Journey, my Heart made.
Towards Hope, Towards Love.
Courage stood still. Not knowing if to take a step forward;
Or to remain standing still, waiting for Strength to beckon in silence.
Every step taken was a new beginning.
Every sight, a Blessed Dream.

I Remember that Journey.

I Remember Falling.
That Endless depth; when all I could see was Darkness.
That Endless Fall; My Heart made.
Towards Loneliness; Towards Despair.
Faith stood still; contemplating as if to catch me at the bottom.
Or to remain standing in Silence;
Waiting for Wisdom to cushion my fall.

I remember that Journey.

I Remember Rock Bottom.
The Endless Numbness, the shock. Feelings Frozen.
And that little Light inside me;
That grew Brighter and Beckoned;
Pushed, and nudged;
Till I finally got up.
Looked beyond Despair;
And Knew the Light was still there.
Hope stood still; showing me the way;
But waiting for Choice to determine my Destiny.

I remember that Journey.

I remember walking back into Life.
Knowing Joy waits; Endless Joy;
That no matter how difficult things got;
My Heart and Soul will get me through;
Faith will get me through.
That everything happens for a reason.
And everything will be okay.
The Miracle stood still;
Waiting for me to embrace it.
But waiting for Love to Light up my way.

This Journey has just begun.
And this time; I have made it my Choice;
To make it Worth Remembering."

Life is hard sometimes and so is our journey... But it is of these things that sharpen us and cause us to grow. As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. The miracle stands still waiting for you to embrace it... To me this miracle is love. We, you and I have been created from the highest source of love. Rock bottom can be as difficult as we choose it to be... I personally have been to hell and back... I am so grateful my foot now walks the earth on a lighter path. We can choose to look towards the light anytime we may find ourselves in the dark. And there my friend is where you will find hope. Keeping the faith sets you free. It is a journey to remembrance of who you truly are. Light and love

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Our journey though uncertain as to the details, will surely be an adventure!

You have the ability to perceive the world as you choose to see it. I am sure you have seen a beautiful flower growing in a crack in the parking lot. I couldn't wait to take a picture of it. Or is it a weed? To me it is a beautiful flower none the less. And that it’s obviously a wildflower, just like me. Weeds are awesome! There are so many 'weeds' that are good for you! I’m a beautiful "wild" weed!

I could never be among the roses in the garden, I had my own stand of life and I knew what I want right from young age. I could never be the norm that my mum wants me to be.

I heard my soul whisper to me...you should fly. I disregarded its notion. I felt my soul urging me...you should find a way. I did not believe I could. I fell broken to the ground. I heard my soul scream...you will get up! I feebly found my feet. I felt my soul push me...you will carry on! I started to believe. I inhaled the love and life around me and I spread my wings.

You may believe in a hundred good things but if it doesn't show in your behaviour then even those beliefs are of no use! Believe in good things and make them a part of your behaviour... Only then your thoughts and deeds match to bring out your best!

I must impress myself constantly because I have appointed myself as my own judge, phew not that easy you know, you have to keep to the straight path all the time, but if others judge me, really I don't care a damn.

Our beliefs, actions, behaviour, preferences etc. define us. Who are we, if we discard these?
Am I only that, of which, I have knowledge?
If I am beyond knowledge, then I can never 'know' who I am! Can I has rightly said, “I think, therefore I am”.
Now, if I don't think, how do I know if I am? What is the relation between thinking and knowledge, between knowledge and reality?
These questions have bugged me. I have questioned everything that I believe. I have questioned everything that I practice.
I had many a sleepless night; I know I had to search frantically for the source – the source of all things, ideas, concepts etc.

To reach this source, I had to understand one thing, EVERY river HAS a source. It flows from its source to its destination.
The river of my life; too has a source and a destination. I have to walk along the bank of the river, along the curvy twisted path, ridden with rocks, pebbles, flowers and even dangerous crevices and mountains, to reach that source.

Before I understand my life, I have to understand the one who is living it – me. I am still along the bank, with only God as my guide, for it is my life, and no one else can walk along the bank of my life.
I am still facing some thorny bushes, some beautiful meadows, but I am getting used to it.
Knowing that these are only along the bank, the real thing is at the source. I keep forgetting, I keep remembering.

I err and I rectify. It’s a part of this journey that I describe before you, that I want to share with you; for you too are along your bank and facing what I have faced.
May God’s will that my writing inspires you and helps you – for it is only He who helps, we only THINK that we help.

I was searching, not knowing what I was searching for. I just felt that something is wrong somewhere, I just couldn't tell. So I started reading. I began with the books after books.

Yes, it was a mess. And a messy one at that! I just couldn't figure out what to do. Who do I know is with the absolute truth? Every doctrine had a flaw. In course of time the mess in the best of doctrines became apparent to me. To tell you the truth, I follow everything very passionately and diligently, so the time it took to squeeze the truth out was much lesser than that you would normally expect. I just didn't know what to do! I just decided to relax and continued with my life.

 If you want to make a change, you have to make a change. You have to make a choice, so let’s have an adventure, said I, unaware of what was to come. So on the morning of Sept. 10 1985 as I remember vividly, I went to 3 banks and closed all my savings account to gather my entire earnings over the years.
Being so young and a fresh graduates I don’t have much but enough to get me a plane ticket and my passport done. I was lucky then, for a two way ticket to New Zealand only cost me RM$1200 yippee! After passport and ticket, I only have NZ$ 500 in my pocket for my adventure.

I left Malaysia, culture and family in search of myself and my purpose in life. I told myself I’ll start from the bottom, so I went to New Zealand. I don’t know any one nor do I have a place to stay but I know that there is God and He will make sure that I’ll be fine.

Remember that you are always loved. You are always protected and you are never alone...You are also a being of light, of wisdom; of love ...you can never be forgotten. You can never be overlooked or ignored. You are not your body; you are not your brain, not even your mind. You are a Spirit. All you have to do is to reawaken to the memory, to remember. Spirit has no limits, not the limit of the physical body or of the reaches of the intellect or the mind.

I've left the busy life of Kuala Lumpur and rest my feet on an unfamiliar ground, the land of the white cloud, New Zealand. So, I arrived New Zealand on a beautiful spring day, the sky was clear, the sun was smiling, and the most beautiful place I’ve ever been. I felt so overwhelm....I am free to do what I wish and that was a great feeling.

I settle in a nice backpackers hostel in Mt Eden, after 2 weeks there I landed me a job as a night manager with lodging provided and NZ$350 in hand per week after tax, which I welcome with an open arms."Told you there is God," I said to myself.

With the money I earn, I see myself through an Architecture degree from Auckland University, now with 2 degree in my hand the world is mine!!!

I got my residency status after a year and I am living my dream!

Auckland is a pleasurable and fairly easy endeavour. You can most places walk individually between teahouses and carry your own daypack. The whole country is incredibly good value to travel in as a tourist. Laidback Auckland lifestyle, super friendly, handsome and quiet, I feel safe everywhere, all the time.

Today, I have thought a great deal about "Path" and how each day brings new discoveries. Some expected, a few unexpected and many pure delights! Oh to embrace what we discover. We have all been place on this Earth to discover our path, and we will never be happy if we live someone else’s idea of life...

There is a magic in that little world, home; it is a mystic circle that surrounds comforts and virtues never known beyond its hallowed limits
With a heart full of hope and my hand held by faith, my path continues to be full of possibilities, if you knew that hope and despair were paths to the same destination, which would you, choose?

Faith has always sustained me.

Nurture your dreams... Feed them your love, care and tend to it with all your dedication...
With it let them grow into a beauty, let them thrive...And you'll see the fruits of your dreams coming alive as I am living it.
Don't ever Quit, quitting something might give you instant relief from the struggles, but it's in hope and hard work that lies Life's essence. With hope even impossible becomes possible because that gives you all the courage and determination you need... The only thing that needs to be quitted is Quitting itself.

Live in hope...Hope floats! It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are. My courage is keep growing...  You stand within yourself.

The world is not here to make you happy, it cannot ultimately do that, it’s not what it’s for. It’s here to make you conscious. What you choose to do is totally up to you and Source will support all your choices, as it sees all paths of equal value.

Abundant joy and leverage is available to you when you choose to do what is necessary to feel better, to close the gap, and let your true self shine through every day.


Sunday, May 13, 2012

“Free Will” – em Claire

“So,” I said, “This is Free Will?”
There was silence for a time.
Then, this came:

“You knew before you arrived,
that this is how it would be.

There is no way for 'me' to choose
whether one of you flourishes
while one flounders – That
is up to all of you.

Each of you has the choice
ease your life with Love

you could ease your lives with Love

Ten years; one hundred;
one thousand more?
What will you choose to be?

Why not begin again in your world
this time,

Willing all to be Free?”

Freedom is Transcendental. End your Trance. BE free~!

Friday, May 11, 2012


Everyone is in charge of the change, speaking of change of the self.

And the world will change when every individual self will change. The thoughts, ideas and acts of a simple being can initiate a greater change.

So let's change ourselves, and the change of self will change the outer world

The structures that are not working will change, each of us gets to choose what we support with our $, our energy, our choices! What joyous freedom!

We are the change. The boomers and the hippies we had it right. We could have done it differently however we weren't quiet about our methods for change and it scared people.

We do have a legacy in the movements that have sprung up, women's, environmental and all; they wanted the same thing...change.

Things are going to change... 
It's not a question of whether things are going to change; 
it's a question of how, and 
it's a question of who is going to sponsor the change? 
Who is going to create the change? 
Who is going to be in charge of the change?

We are all in charge of the change. We change all the time...every day, every moment. And the world changes too...every day every moment...See!

note to AOH

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts...

If you say you're worthy, you are. If you say you're not worthy, you're not. Either way you will live into your story.

“I AM” two of the most powerful words, for what you put after them shape your reality!

Whatever you’re thinking or feeling about yourself on the inside will be the energy you project on the outside.

You can remain in your present idea about yourself, or you can choose again. I like the idea of choosing again. Glorify who you are today, do not condemn who you were yesterday, and dream of who you can be tomorrow.

What I think and feel and what I get is always a match. And so, if I want something different than what I've been getting, I have to, somehow, generate different feelings.

When you worry about something, you are using your immense power of imagination negatively. You are imagining the worst, and as you imagine the worst, you are bringing it to you. When you are excited about something, you are using your power of imagination positively. You are imagining the best, and as you imagine the best, you are bringing it to you.

I believe in me. I believe that one of the most powerful forces in the world is the will of people who believe in themselves, who dare to aim high, to go confidently after things that they want from life.

Your life is a collaboration of all your actions, decisions and reactions. Own up to everything, because a life well lived will be enjoyed by no one else but you too.

Treat yourself the way you want others to treat you. Accept yourself. Insecurity is what’s ugly, not you. Be you, just the way you are, in the beautiful way only you know how. The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others. You must love who you are or no one else will either. And when you are truly comfortable in your own skin, not everyone will like you, but you won’t care about it one bit.

Do not let the pain make you hopeless. Do not let the negativity wear off on you. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Even though others may disagree with you, take pride in the fact that you still know the world is a beautiful place.

Change your thoughts and you change your reality. Our thoughts are the makers of our moods, the inventors of our dreams, and the creators of our will. That is why we must sort through them carefully, and choose to respond only to those that will help us build the life we want, and the outlook we want to hold as we’re living it.

Everyone has this little watchdog inside their head. It’s always there watching you. It was born and raised by your family, friends, co-workers and society at large, and its sole purpose is to watch you and make sure you stay in line.
And once you become accustomed to the watchdog’s presence, you begin to think its opinions are absolute truths.
But they’re not truths; they’re just other people’s opinions. Remember, the watchdog is just a watchdog, he just watches. He can’t actually control you. He can’t do anything about it if you decide to rise up and go against the grain.


Monday, May 7, 2012


“Some people feel the rain, but others just get wet” – Bob Marley

So often we get bogged down by the demands of our lives that we stop appreciating the little things. We let our day to day obligations take away our sense of wonder, purpose & accomplishment. Don't let these things take away the joy of something as vital to our existence as rain.

Rain is often associated with despair, but as we saw last summer, a lack of it causes just as much despair.

The rain is representative of our families, friends and loved ones as well. Spend time with them. Tell them you love them and that they are special show them that they are important to you!

Don't let the hustle and bustle of keeping life on track cause you to just get wet...take time to feel the rain. Love is found in everyone! Jus dig deep within you just find it. Don’t ever let them tell you any different and settle for less than what you deserve.

I hope everyone has an awesome day today! I wish you all much Peace, Love & Awesomeness!


Saturday, May 5, 2012

Victim or be victorious

Growing up from failures is a part of the gift of life. When we live in the ego, we are human. It takes more courage to be you than to live in the prison of ego with feelings of guilt. It takes a lot more courage to be happy than to be unhappy.

True ego gets in the way of spiritual enlighten and when we start to get in touch with our true selves it is letting go of the ego or putting it aside.

Accept your body and its "defects". Accept your character and its "weaknesses". Love yourself as a perfect part of a perfect Whole.

Happiness does not belong to our destiny: happiness is our free choice.

Everything arises of mind, has source in spirit intelligently directed
Someone once told me "when you look into the past all time, you are walking backwards in the future" Lessons yes, but nothing we need to "keep" throw it away.

I treasure my past even if it gave me tears. Our pasts, everyone's pasts, must have a mixture of happiness, sadness, failures, successes, love and not so good love, yet, it's a part of our lives that although we might not dwell in it all the time, it's there to remind us of what we are today.

From an energy perspective, our energy field is full of the past, both in terms of unconscious mind programming and also in terms of what we carry deep within our cells. Our bodies clearly reflect our past so there is no point in denying it. Better to learn from it, which is what the Hermit in the Tarot Major Arcane teaches us.

Only after we have integrated the learning of past lessons can we reach a point of balance and harmony in the now. There is no spiritual bypass for past traumas... but there is grace and nobody can tell you how long it will take for you to learn and process... but learn and process you must. Think about it, without this learning there wouldn't be much point to our existence here.


Friday, May 4, 2012

Simplicity of heart is divine wisdom.

Stop feeling sad for some reason or for no reason; enjoy your life in the present moment. Feeling sad is normal and healthy, and shouldn't be denied. Its part of the human experience, but feeling sad is not necessary if you can change your sad thoughts for ones that feel better.....and we can.

Allow yourself to totally feel every emotion, whether it be, and observe it from your inner space of peace and silence. Do not give to anyone the power to make you feel guilty for your own free choices. Just do your best to do what's right, NEVER feel guilty of your choices.

Sometimes we come across people that speak as if it were from the heart, the tone of their voice, the energy they give off agree with our hearts, but don't be mislead,  they are devious and cunning. We call these being covert manipulators for they perform their arts in secrecy thinking only of them.

Use not only your hearts but your minds too; they think that their level of awareness is higher than those that bare unconditional love but that is not true of those that bear unconditional love have the ultimate awareness. Their actions and words must agree with the heart and the mind...

By listening to your heart, you open your life to the infinite within yourself. Darkness is an illusion that disappears with the Light.

The practice of Unconditional Love starts with the full acceptance of yourself, just as you are. You can know the Truth, only being the Truth.

By freeing your mind from every judgment and condemnation of yourself and others, you align yourself with the highest vibration of Love. Have the courage to say 'No' when 'No' is your honest answer and do not feel guilty because of it.

Accept that those you love have different beliefs from yours and release your need to force your truth on them. Always love with respect. 
What a world this could be If WE Could ALL practice & Live this way! On the angelic level there is only one truth which everyone shares... unity of love.

Listen to your heart, there you can find all the wisdom of the Universe.



Two words....

There are two words that, when spoken, have the most unfathomable power to completely change your life.

Two words which, when they pass your lips, will be the cause of bringing absolute joy and happiness to you.

Two words that will create miracles in your life, which will wipe out negativity and that, will bring you abundance in all things.

Two words which, when uttered and sincerely felt, will summon all the forces and vibrations in the Universe to move all things for you.

The only thing standing between you, happiness, and the life of your dreams is two words... 


note to aoh

Wednesday, May 2, 2012


The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others on how you demand to be treated. Do not settle for anything other than respect.

You hear me telling you time and time again that I am Awesome. I also tell you that you are Awesome. Believe it, and the world around will notices it. Never let anyone steal the AWESOME from you...not even yourself. Demand respect from everyone. And if they can' give it, and then they have no business in your life! Surround yourself with people that add value to your life and cut out those who subtract from it.

Love me or hate me, I promise you it won’t make me or break me.

Never give anybody power over the way you see yourself or the way you feel about yourself. People who are not satisfied with the state of their own lives often try to bring down anyone who seems to have a better life than theirs.

Don't fall into their trap. If you allow them to affect the way you feel or behave then you are allowing them to steal your light. Never let that happen. We are here to Spread the Light and share it with others to improve the world, not let someone cause it to be hidden.

At some point, you have to realize that ONLY some can stay in your heart, but not in your life. Sometimes we just have to cut one out of our lives. Not because we hate them, but because they affect us in a negative way. We may still love them but their attitudes and actions do not reflect our values and expectations. So the best thing to do we must let them be on their way.

Mediocrity is easy but good things take time". Don't settle for mediocre...always strive for the best!
This is a beautiful song with very powerful lyrics. I share it with you and hope you will listen to it sometimes we all need to hear this.


Tuesday, May 1, 2012


One SONG can spark a moment 

One FLOWER can wake the dream 

One TREE can start a forest 

One BIRD can herald spring 

One SMILE begins a friendship 

One HANDCLASP lifts a soul
One STAR can guide a ship at sea 

One WORD can frame the goal 

One VOTE can change a nation
One SUNBEAM lights a room
One CANDLE wipes out darkness 

One LAUGH will conquer gloom 

One STEP must start each journey 

One WORD must start a prayer 

One HOPE will raise our spirits 

One TOUCH can show you care 

One VOICE can speak with wisdom 

One HEART can know what is true
One LIFE can make a difference 

– You see, it’s up to YOU……