"I'm a person desperately trying to fix myself, to become perfect, pure, enlightened.".
Later, I was lost in the 'absolute
"There's no me, no world, no time... and no perspectives!".
These days, what's seen is this:
The absolute dances AS the relative. And so the words 'absolute' and 'relative' dissolve... into silence.
Just is what is..
A simple investigation:
Thoughts come and go. Are you the thoughts that come and go? Sensations appear and disappear. Are you those sensations? Sounds, feelings, smells, dance. Are you those sounds, feelings, smells?
And keep looking: do you have any way of actually separating what you are from these thoughts, sensations, feelings?
Is there any gap between what you are and all that appears?
Or is there simply intimacy with all life?
Don't jump to 'yes' or 'no'.
Don't look to the mind and thought for answers - mind comes and goes.
Look to what is actually happening.