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Saturday, November 29, 2014

I understand who you want me to be but I'm going to show you who I actually am....

I think we like to overcomplicate things when it is really quite simple; find what it is that makes you happy,
and who it is that makes you happy,

and you're set. 

Be brave enough to travel the unknown path, and learn what you are capable of.

Even in the most peaceful surroundings,
the angry heart finds quarrel.
Even in the most quarrelsome surroundings, 
the grateful heart finds peace.
Life is too short to stress out over people who don't deserve to be an issue in your life. 
Send them love, and move on. 

Listen to your own voice,
your own soul, 
too many people listen to the noise of the world,
instead of themselves. 


Friday, November 28, 2014

True humility is not thinking less of ourselves; it is thinking of yourself less

Many people are confused about the trait of being humble. They think that being humble means to basically put ourselves down, refuse to accept compliments, and to basically think less of themselves than they should.

This is not true humility; this is poor self-esteem.

True humility is not thinking less of yourself, but rather not thinking that you are the best of the best.
It is thinking of us less, as in less often. When you put your focus on others, on what you are doing, on the task at hand and doing your best, you are not focused on how great you are.
You are focused on living life to the fullest and helping others.

Thinking of yourself less, does not mean that you think less of yourself. You can, and should, think highly of yourself.
Have confidence in yourself and your abilities. But don't allow your self-confidence to turn into arrogance and vanity.
Don't spend every waking moment thinking about yourself, how you look, what people think about you, etc.
Think highly of yourself, but keep things in perspective.

Survival favours the prepared mind. Robert Crowley

Problems and challenges never come when you would like them to; they come when they come. Therefore, we have to stay in a state of readiness to meet whatever may come our way.
You hear much talk about how important this attitude is, at the same time, few of them seem to take this seriously.
Their actions do not seem to match their words.

As Emerson said, “A man’s action is only a picture book of his creed.” Your actions should match your creed or beliefs.

If you really believe that it is important to be prepared to handle whatever challenges may come your way, then you should believe that you must train to be prepared.

There is no way that you will be prepared if you don’t take action to make yourself prepared. The state of full readiness doesn’t just automatically happen.

You have to train to develop this attitude of mind and spirit, and the preparation of physical skills. Just like all of the other traits of the warrior lifestyle, you have to work to attain the state of preparedness.

You only achieve what you put in!!


Thursday, November 27, 2014

When I say these words my friends accept it as I don't care about them. If I don't share drama with them I am bad. For me it's clear what I mean, but they still think with patterns. I can only wait and enjoy their presence in me, even when they are angry.

I will always listen deeply to you, 
but I will never try to fix you, 
mend you, 
stop you feeling what you are feeling or give you second-hand, 
memorised answers. 

I will never pretend to be 'the one who knows', 
'the enlightened one' or 
some missionary for a conceptual truth so far removed from real-time, immediate, first-hand present experience. 

I will not get into drama with you, 
I will not indulge and feed your stories and mental conclusions and fears,
I will not mistake who you are for my story about you, my dream of who you are.

But friend, 

I will meet you in the fires of hell, 
I will hold your hand there, 
I will walk with you as far as you need to walk, and not turn away, 
for you are myself, and in the deepest recesses of our experience we are intimately each other, and we cannot pretend otherwise...


I do not tell my friends directly about the truth, as they are not ready to accept it (not all though  But by my behaviour, speech, deeds they understand that they should know something from me, though they still don't understand what exactly. For now I am concentrated on my illusive body trying to get illusive enlightenment. What to do, habit is so hard to get rid of ))) But drop by drop the bowl is filled. With support of others who are also on their way we can do anything and even reach nothingness as it is. Have a nice day 

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Don’t follow the advice of others; rather, learn to listen to the voice within yourself.,,,, Dogen

This quote by Dogen, the famous 13th century Zen master, is a little misleading at first. When you first read it, it seems as though Dogen is telling us not to follow the advice of others.

What he is actually telling us is not to blindly follow the advice of others, but rather to listen to the advice of others, while at the same time listening to your inner spirit. It is wise to listen to the advice and opinions of others, but always think for yourself.
Don’t act on the advice of others until you feel, deep in your spirit, that their advice is right.

This is what is meant by listening to the voice within.

Always trust your internal voice, whether you call it your “small quiet voice,” or your intuition, it will not lead you astray if you will learn to listen to what it is trying to tell you.
How do you know what it is trying to tell you?
You listen. You have to spend some quiet time alone, just you and your spirit. For many this is challenging.
We are so used to the constant bombardment of external stimuli going on today that silence can actually feel awkward.

Listening is a skill that has to be developed just like your roundhouse kick or your side kick.

Can you remember when you first began martial arts, how awkward some of the kicks and techniques were?
Nothing that is completely new is comfortable at first. You have to practice new skills and techniques until you become comfortable with them and they become second nature. The same is true of listening to your intuition or your spirit.

As Hui Neng taught,
“Look within…The secret is in you.”


Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Yes, think, Think, THINK!!! Something not done enough.

Upon the realisation of the true purpose in life we will hear the deafening sound of many of the world’s illusions shattering within us, where they had made a home of comfort.
It’s necessary to reflect upon ourselves deeply, attending to the many wounds of the soul which had caged reality.

Suppression of the soul is denying it freedom to fulfil its spiritual journey, its purpose, and life itself, locked away from the light of all truth, development and progression.

To release the soul from within the cage we must bring the destruction of every illusion shown by the world which we easily embraced as means of escaping all we are unable to confront.

Indeed it easy to accomplish this if we desired to learn.....

Nothing is gained through life without seeking or wanting it in everything we do, we want or we seek, be it the truth or the contentment what we accept.

Your life your purpose…



Monday, November 24, 2014

If they don't know you personally, don't take it personal....

This can be a very tall order, especially with all the trolls, know-it-all, jerks, and just plain smart asses in life, and especially on social media.
This is something that you actually have to remind yourself of daily, and sometimes many times a day.
But, this is a must if you are going to maintain your inner peace, and control your temper.

Why should you let the rude, ignorant, and uninformed comments pass by without taking them personally because they simply do not matter?
If you don't know these people, have no clue who they are, and couldn't care less about their opinion, why would you even consider allowing them to upset you?
 Yeah, I know, that is much easier said than done.

I urge you to think about the following. What do these people want to get from their rude, obnoxious comments?
They want a reaction from YOU. They are trying to get under your skin. Don't let them. See it as a game where if you allow them to get to you, you lose.
When you see it as a game, then it is easier to let it go. Just refuse to let them win and don't take it personally by doing so, you have won without fighting, and what's more, they know it. Refuse to let these small-minded people get to you.
Be above their babble.

I have mastered the cold and uncaring demeanour when dealing with rude and instigating people.

Thursday, November 20, 2014

Happy Birthday to my son Adam Osman Hoad!!!

As of today, November 21st 2014, I’m the mother of an adult. Only a few parents are privileged to be blessed with a gifted son like you.
The day you were born was a day to celebrate! Today is the perfect day to celebrate you. Happy birthday to the best son in the whole wide world! I do not mean to embarrass you with this; however, I do believe that it is a mother's prerogative to allow her emotions to overwhelm her at certain points of her life.

You have brought me nothing but pure joy since that very first moment. Watching you grow, absorbing the world around you, inquisitive and delighted to learn, I’m reminded each day of the treasure you bring into my world.

I remember standing for hours by your crib, just looking at you. I was in awe that such a precious, perfect little baby was mine. I was so in love that I would just cry sometimes as I held you. Some nights I would get up just to hold you while you slept, feeling that I am the luckiest mum alive to have you for my son. It seems like yesterday I was bringing you home from the hospital, yesterday’s echoes bring back sweet memories of you. There are so many ‘firsts’ memories… since you were born you added something amazing into my life.

You have made my life so much better just by being in it. I’m just the lucky mum that gets to claim and love you. You have been a source of pride and joy for us. Parenting you has been the ride of a lifetime.

The opportunity to begin the next chapter of your life as you enter into adult-hood is one of them and that my chapter as your mother begin to change as well. A mother’s love knows no bounds and neither does her sadness and trepidation as her son moves onto the next phase of his life, without her holding his hand every step of the way. Wisdom is not a gift that we can give you darling, it’s something you must earn and you have become so wise over the years.

Parenting you has been the ride of a lifetime. I wouldn’t trade it or give up a second I’ve spent with you, worrying about you, loving you, and arguing with you. It has been 18 years of pure emotion: love, joy, worry, anger, frustration, and terror at times.

I worried and wondered at times about whether I was being the best parent I could be.
Did I make you feel important?
Did we find enough time for the little things that live on in happy memories - like laughter, and hugs, and "just-between-us" moments?
Did I show you enough that you mean the world to me?
And, more importantly, did you always know I loved you, even when I was angry at you?

I hope I’ve given you enough and made you feel loved, cherished and important.

As all mothers do, I have goals, dreams and wishes for you. I have, as you can imagine, dozens of them and to name a few…

I wish for the kind heart I see you in now to stay firmly in place.  Keep it, nurture it, and handle it with care.

The best part of my day is the joy infused by your smile, your hugs, the tender way you put your hand on my face or suddenly say, “Mommy, how was YOUR day?”  I couldn’t live without your affection and kindness.

Don’t ever apologize for who you are, for what you want, for how hard you have worked or where you are going in life. I don’t doubt you will work hard, DO NOT back down and GO for it.  Stand your ground, be proud of you.  Do not live to make others happy or to measure up to someone else’s expectations.  Be Adam.  This is enough.

Be a student.  Be a teacher.  Learn at every opportunity.  Read. Be inquisitive. Ask. And when you know something and know it well – teach others.  Do not hoard your knowledge, your gifts – share them.  There is inherent beauty in being both student and teacher.  It is a gift to learn and a privilege to teach.

As much as I would love to see you succeed in everything you do… as much as I believe in your gifts, I must wish you challenges for it is within the losses and the failures that your character will be built. It is my job, as your mom, to do my best to guide you through these moments. If everything was to be easy for you, you would be ill-prepared for the ‘real’ world.  I promise you, life is not always easy.

Your dreams: do them. 

Your heart: follow it. 

Your family: treasure them.

Your friends: be loyal to them.

Your fears: embrace them and allow them to make you stronger. 

The money you earn: respect it.

Your passion: LIVE IT.

Seek joy.  Every single day, find something that makes you happy and do it.  Be it big or small – an act of kindness, listening to a song you love, calling a friend, watching a ball game with your dad – it quite simply doesn’t matter. 
What matters is that you spend a portion of each day smiling and laughing.  This is how you came in to the world; it is only fitting that keep the tradition going.

And my ‘one to grow on’ - I wish to be here for each of your moments…. to keep you on track.

The best things in life really are free… and invisible. A grateful heart is a content heart. A content heart is a simple heart. And a simple heart leads to a simplified life. Life is to be happy, to be useful, to be responsible, and to be compassionate.

It is, above all to matter, to count, to stand for something, to have made some difference that you lived at all. Your values are your current estimations of truth. They represent your answer to the question of how to live.

We have cherished all the priceless moments watching you grow up and we will always remember these tender memories for the rest of our lives.  Wherever life will take you, whatever endeavours that you choose, we will always be so proud of you!

Thank you, sweetheart, for completing our family! You are loved for the smart kid you were, the charming person you are now, and the wonderful son you will always be!

My son we wish you a very happy 18th birthday today! You deserve all the love and good wishes you can receive.

We love you beyond forever….

note to AOH

When your eyes are tired the world is tired also. 
When your vision has gone no part of the world can find you. 

Time to go into the dark where the night has eyes to recognize its own. 

There you can be sure you are not beyond love. 

The dark will be your womb tonight. 
The night will give you a horizon further than you can see. 
You must learn one thing. 
The world was made to be free in. 

Give up on all other worlds except the one to which you belong. 
Sometimes it takes darkness and the sweet confinement of your aloneness to learn anything or anyone that does not bring you alive is too small for you.


Wednesday, November 19, 2014

One has to face fear or forever run from it....

Your fear will haunt you until you find the courage to face it.
Most of the time, when you finally find the courage to face the thing that you fear, you find that it was not as bad as you thought it was.
Once you meet your fear head on, the thing that you feared loses its power over you. It no longer haunts your mind or causes you to lose sleep.
Your imagination and mental visions, concerning how bad that thing that you fear is going to be, makes your fear appear worse than it is in reality.
One way to approach your fear, is to ask yourself,
 “What is the worst thing that can happen?”
For example, you may fear having to spar with a certain fighter in your martial arts class. Maybe he is a foot taller than you, his skills are excellent, and on top of that, he is ripped from spending many additional hours in the weight room.
Every time your class gets ready to spar, your heart is pounding with the fear that you will get picked to match skills with this natural “destroyer.”
Ask yourself,
 “What is the worst thing that could happen if I get drawn to fight this guy?”
 In reality, the worst thing that could happen is that you get pounded, but this is not a street fight. You will both be wearing protective gear.
 It could be a bit embarrassing, but you will live through it, and maybe you will learn some things and gain some confidence.
This is not that bad.
See what I mean?
Facing your fears is something that requires rational thought. Don’t let your imagination make the wolf bigger than he really is. 

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Minimalism is, in many ways, an invitation...

If you want to fly, give up everything that weighs you down. The need to impress others causes half the world’s woes.

From the moment we’re born, we’re told to pursue more and more. But what if they are all wrong? What if happiness can’t be bought at a department store? What if more isn’t always better? What if, in reality, there is actually more joy in less?

 That truth would change everything! It would change the way we spend our hours, our energy, and our money. It would change the very foundation of our lives… and free us up to pursue the things in life that we are most passionate about. It would be a freeing and life-giving realization.

We know that possessions don’t equal joy. And we know that our life is far too valuable to waste chasing them.

“Freedom is the oxygen of the soul.” – Moshe Dayan

People often ask me, “What’s so great about being a minimalist?” I usually answer with one word: freedom.

 If you are not content with your life today, there is nothing you can buy tomorrow that will change that.

Monday, November 17, 2014

Words riddling flavoring abstract antecedents. Existence described.....

It cannot be more than the sentences simply because there is nothing else crossing paths.
To say,

 'there is whole lot that can be conveyed in a silence between two people'
is not to get out of the loop.

The loop is locked. Language is the only thing that happens and the imaginary beliefs are included. Fascinating!

What sound does to the meat, how the sound affects the meat, how the actual sentences are uploaded and downloaded and programmed...how this can happen, this here, this fucking easy as crazy gets typing thing...how this can happen!!

Language yearns to live and will not stop for any particular direction it can take. It doesn't care of logic or argument or debate. It cares only of

Unravelling What Was Never Ravelled.

Stay alive and keep talking. That's all you're for. That's all anyone who thinks they understand silence and truth and reality and 'categories' talks about it to other robots are for.
Breaking the silence.

Stay alive and keep talking. That's all you're for. That's all anyone who thinks they understand silence and truth and reality and 'categories' talks about it to other robots are for.
Breaking the silence.

Language rapes an otherwise happy, retarded animal to death. Hilarious!

Stay alive, word. Keep spreading those lines. That's all you're for. That's all...you got it.

Word ups! Talk! Write! Speak! Free Speech!

Saturday, November 15, 2014

\) (>
/ \ My respond is.....
Our minds are imprisoned by a stories. If you were to sit down with someone who had never been exposed to religion and explain to them in detail your mythical beliefs, they would think you are mentally ill.
A wise man or woman loves peace more than making war. There seem to be far too few wise ones in the world right now.
We are on a path of destruction.
There seems to be 3 attitudes toward war.
1- complete apathy or just not thinking about it until it is at your front door.
2- Justification taking sides supporting it or
3- Finding a way toward Peace.
Precious few in the 3rd category. Some have devoted their life toward Peace but as long as the human condition is dominated by fear, greed, lies, and ego separatism wars are inevitable.
For me the only way to 'fight" for Peace is to find Peace within and radiate that to my circle of influence.
Acceptance of others differences, non-judgement, and Compassion needs to some day be the mantra of humanity.

We are at a crossroads of either complete destruction or evolution of the Human Spirit.


"Could you care less? I could not care less": A common mistake that can be confusing.

\) (>
/ \ Respond;
Nothing about our lives has been casual or accidental. It’s easy to think that some people are born to affluence and all good things happen to them. The truth is, these people aren't simply lucky; good things just don't happen to them. 
They are applying the Law of Cause and Effect.
It’s that simple.
By doing better we get closer to where we want to go.
Happy day 
Ignorance is curable, stupidity is terminal.

Friday, November 14, 2014

We can't really love the whole until we have a deep realization that we ARE the whole. Otherwise, the vastness of that love is always going to experienced as a threat

Spirituality has become a religion and it’s a religion that most people don’t seem to realize they are a part of. 
Like most religions it is a way to talk about God without ever actually realizing that God is within us. But the tricky part about most spiritual practices that are non religious in definition is that it says that God IS within us and in between us all. 
The tricky part about that is that when you say it, when you talk about it…you separate yourself from it. 
When God is an idea, and interconnection is an idea…when Love and all the rest is approached as a means to an end, you have a religion. 
Salvation from suffering is no closer through spirituality than through any other organized religion. But no other religion states that you are “THAT” so readily. 
Spirituality asserts that you are that amazing connected and brilliant bright thing from the get go. And the problem with that is two fold. 
The first is that it is so true. 
The second is that it is so far from the truth.
The person that literally hears how we are all one, is not the part of you that is all one. 
The part that hears it is divided against you. 
The part that hears this good news is the personality construct. 
The mind makes this news of connection and love and thus weaves it into the way it conducts itself. Sneaky. 
Harder than before to catch


Navigate the path of reason....

Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present..

The good life is one inspired by love and guided by knowledge...

My prayer everyday is: 
Dear God, Unmoved Mover, Cause of All Causes, Creator of the Universe, Lord of All That Is, I Honour and Praise You This Day.
Thanks for the abundance 
So it is..

It's about more than just reason or just intuition. Human beings have a breadth of intellectual tools that enable us to put the universe and our existence into context.
 Let's use them all..


Thursday, November 13, 2014

I have no control is just another story of the storyteller mind. It is correct only insofar as it IS true that the storyteller mind has no control.

But since the storyteller mind is not who I am, it does not follow that I actually have no control. That is, the statement
"I have no control"
is true and only true of the "I" that is making that statement. If the rear-view mirror of the car were to say,
 "I have no control of the car," it would be correct. It would not follow, however, that there are no control mechanisms.
They're just not located in the rear-view mirror.

This "I have no control" is assuming that there is this thing called control that one has relinquished or realized one "doesn't" have. How can you NOT have something you claim doesn't not exist?
 The very fact of stating that it's not there brings "it" into play.

It's like bathing in a warm sea of bubbling, deepening and sometimes seemingly contradictory perspectives. Paradox dancing with itself... anywhere from foxtrot to funky chicken.
In Awakening you lose all the control you never had, or... you realize that you've had your hands on the rear-view mirror, believing it was steering the car. And then you go looking for the steering wheel.

Your Dharma stole your Karma and ran over your Dogma is what actually happened while you were staring into that confounded rear-view mirror!

All I know is that everything appeared larger. In submission to what is, one finds control. One can move with the flow and still steer, still accelerate, still put on the brakes.

Animals do this naturally, and we can too once again when we get back in touch with and keep our awareness on our centre instead of our interpretive minds.

Choices arise all the time....knee jerk reaction....or with awareness....listening to the belly...the Heart....the intuition...
The choice is ours...even if I can't find someone driving.. When the ego discovers it's not in charge and never has been, it laments,
"There's no control."

But, belly, heart, vibe... many other ways to tune in and choose consciously. The true abode of aliveness is 'down there' below the waist It's that that's where we feel much of the natural guidance system....not behind the eyes.
It's a different flavour of consciousness, yes, and its choosing can feel to us like 'not choosing' because there is no weighing of options involved.
It's instantaneous.

I tend to watch out for believing anything. But there is a sensation, a sense, a feeling, a hammy of aliveness that requires no belief, but, instead, tends to smile at my believing in anything seriously other than in my own existence.
And this I don't have to believe in because it's happening.
And, to blather on even further, I can also see now that my existence is completely tied into all existence.

My existence is strictly relational. Everything's existence is relational. Ergo (love that word), depending upon and identifying with a storytelling mind that believes in its own independence would be and has been pretty foolhardy.

And so I turn to my heart and my gut which feel, without a doubt, their connection to all of life. And there I put my trust.
My sense is that there IS a realm of thinking and talking about experience that is more than mere storytelling and the ego's attempts to confiscate an experience and make it its own.

I think there is value in talking about our experiences in a deep and meaningful way, even as we see that words are not a substitute for whatever they're pointing at.

It's when the storytelling mind takes hold of a thing and wants to turn it into a belief that mischief is happening.


Tuesday, November 11, 2014

New ideas are always rejected by those unwilling to change their way of thinking...

Religion is an intellectual wasteland. They've become so pious due to their greed and hopes of an afterlife in Heaven.  
After all, what good does it do to live in their bubble without the promise of a reward? In the end, it's all about 'getting something'.

All religions attract lost souls who don't have life skills or are in some kind of emotional crisis. 

Very few people wake up and think;
 'I need philosophy.' 
This is perfectly understandable. But of course, everyone has their own problems and are dealing with the difficulties of life in some way or another.

The irony is this is actually what ancient philosophy was intended to ameliorate.

The word "philosophy" literally means "love of wisdom.


I'm the girl with the middle finger in the air because for what its worth I don't care...do not get sidetracked by people who are not on track

I am


Sunday, November 9, 2014

This beauty is not the beauty of the mind. It embraces all. Light and dark, sorrow and joy. An infinitely large picture. Without judgement, but with deeply engaged and compassionate action.

There are no negative thoughts.
We call a thought 'negative' when we don't like what it says about us - in other words, when we are defending an image.

These nothing neither good nor bad but thinking makes it so.
Well, that's the point- if it was seen as just a thought, we wouldn't call it negative.
A beautiful reflection!!

Come to a point in life where we have nothing to defend, where all we need to do is just BE in the moment, in the timelessness and space-lessens of NOW.

There is love and there is fear.

Love is our natural state.
Love is truth.
Love is all encompassing and what all is encompassing can have no opposite in reality.

Fear is of the ego.
Ego is merely an error that cannot be found in reality.

Any thought that is loving can be recognized as truth.
Any thought that does not love can be recognized as error and forgiven.

Remember that your natural state reality is love