Our journey though uncertain as to the details, will surely be an adventure!

You have the ability to perceive the world as you choose to see it. I am sure you have seen a beautiful flower growing in a crack in the parking lot. I couldn't wait to take a picture of it. Or is it a weed? To me it is a beautiful flower none the less. And that it’s obviously a wildflower, just like me. Weeds are awesome! There are so many 'weeds' that are good for you! I’m a beautiful "wild" weed!

I could never be among the roses in the garden, I had my own stand of life and I knew what I want right from young age. I could never be the norm that my mum wants me to be.

I heard my soul whisper to me...you should fly. I disregarded its notion. I felt my soul urging me...you should find a way. I did not believe I could. I fell broken to the ground. I heard my soul scream...you will get up! I feebly found my feet. I felt my soul push me...you will carry on! I started to believe. I inhaled the love and life around me and I spread my wings.

You may believe in a hundred good things but if it doesn't show in your behaviour then even those beliefs are of no use! Believe in good things and make them a part of your behaviour... Only then your thoughts and deeds match to bring out your best!

I must impress myself constantly because I have appointed myself as my own judge, phew not that easy you know, you have to keep to the straight path all the time, but if others judge me, really I don't care a damn.

Our beliefs, actions, behaviour, preferences etc. define us. Who are we, if we discard these?

Am I only that, of which, I have knowledge?

If I am beyond knowledge, then I can never 'know' who I am! Can I has rightly said, “I think, therefore I am”.

Now, if I don't think, how do I know if I am? What is the relation between thinking and knowledge, between knowledge and reality?

These questions have bugged me. I have questioned everything that I believe. I have questioned everything that I practice.

I had many a sleepless night; I know I had to search frantically for the source – the source of all things, ideas, concepts etc.

To reach this source, I had to understand one thing, EVERY river HAS a source. It flows from its source to its destination.

The river of my life; too has a source and a destination. I have to walk along the bank of the river, along the curvy twisted path, ridden with rocks, pebbles, flowers and even dangerous crevices and mountains, to reach that source.

Before I understand my life, I have to understand the one who is living it – me. I am still along the bank, with only God as my guide, for it is my life, and no one else can walk along the bank of my life.

I am still facing some thorny bushes, some beautiful meadows, but I am getting used to it.

Knowing that these are only along the bank, the real thing is at the source. I keep forgetting, I keep remembering.

I err and I rectify. It’s a part of this journey that I describe before you, that I want to share with you; for you too are along your bank and facing what I have faced.

May God’s will that my writing inspires you and helps you – for it is only He who helps, we only THINK that we help.

I was searching, not knowing what I was searching for. I just felt that something is wrong somewhere, I just couldn't tell. So I started reading. I began with the books after books.

Yes, it was a mess. And a messy one at that! I just couldn't figure out what to do. Who do I know is with the absolute truth? Every doctrine had a flaw. In course of time the mess in the best of doctrines became apparent to me. To tell you the truth, I follow everything very passionately and diligently, so the time it took to squeeze the truth out was much lesser than that you would normally expect. I just didn't know what to do! I just decided to relax and continued with my life.

 If you want to make a change, you have to make a change. You have to make a choice, so let’s have an adventure, said I, unaware of what was to come. So on the morning of Sept. 10 1985 as I remember vividly, I went to 3 banks and closed all my savings account to gather my entire earnings over the years.

Being so young and a fresh graduates I don’t have much but enough to get me a plane ticket and my passport done. I was lucky then, for a two way ticket to New Zealand only cost me RM$1200 yippee! After passport and ticket, I only have NZ$ 500 in my pocket for my adventure.

I left Malaysia, culture and family in search of myself and my purpose in life. I told myself I’ll start from the bottom, so I went to New Zealand. I don’t know any one nor do I have a place to stay but I know that there is God and He will make sure that I’ll be fine.

Remember that you are always loved. You are always protected and you are never alone...You are also a being of light, of wisdom; of love ...you can never be forgotten. You can never be overlooked or ignored. You are not your body; you are not your brain, not even your mind. You are a Spirit. All you have to do is to reawaken to the memory, to remember. Spirit has no limits, not the limit of the physical body or of the reaches of the intellect or the mind.

I've left the busy life of Kuala Lumpur and rest my feet on an unfamiliar ground, the land of the white cloud, New Zealand. So, I arrived New Zealand on a beautiful spring day, the sky was clear, the sun was smiling, and the most beautiful place I’ve ever been. I felt so overwhelm....I am free to do what I wish and that was a great feeling.

I settle in a nice backpackers hostel in Mt Eden, after 2 weeks there I landed me a job as a night manager with lodging provided and NZ$350 in hand per week after tax, which I welcome with an open arms."Told you there is God," I said to myself.

With the money I earn, I see myself through an Architecture degree from Auckland University, now with 2 degree in my hand the world is mine!!!

I got my residency status after a year and I am living my dream!

Auckland is a pleasurable and fairly easy endeavour. You can most places walk individually between teahouses and carry your own daypack. The whole country is incredibly good value to travel in as a tourist. Laidback Auckland lifestyle, super friendly, handsome and quiet, I feel safe everywhere, all the time.

Today, I have thought a great deal about "Path" and how each day brings new discoveries. Some expected, a few unexpected and many pure delights! Oh to embrace what we discover. We have all been place on this Earth to discover our path, and we will never be happy if we live someone else’s idea of life...

There is a magic in that little world, home; it is a mystic circle that surrounds comforts and virtues never known beyond its hallowed limits

With a heart full of hope and my hand held by faith, my path continues to be full of possibilities, if you knew that hope and despair were paths to the same destination, which would you, choose?

Faith has always sustained me.

Nurture your dreams... Feed them your love, care and tend to it with all your dedication...

With it let them grow into a beauty, let them thrive...And you'll see the fruits of your dreams coming alive as I am living it.

Don't ever Quit, quitting something might give you instant relief from the struggles, but it's in hope and hard work that lies Life's essence. With hope even impossible becomes possible because that gives you all the courage and determination you need... The only thing that needs to be quitted is Quitting itself.

Live in hope...Hope floats! It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are. My courage is keep growing...  You stand within yourself.

The world is not here to make you happy, it cannot ultimately do that, it’s not what it’s for. It’s here to make you conscious. What you choose to do is totally up to you and Source will support all your choices, as it sees all paths of equal value.

Abundant joy and leverage is available to you when you choose to do what is necessary to feel better, to close the gap, and let your true self shine through every day.

ps/smoh