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Sunday, March 22, 2015

No forgive, and forget, works too. Focusing on our responsibility to forgive a wrongdoer sidetracks the whole process. If it’s there, it’s there. If it’s not, it’s not. Just because you don’t choose to forgive doesn’t mean you haven’t let go yet?

Sometimes not forgiving unforgivable acts just keeps us strong and I'm not taking about bitterness. Strength is needed to survive whatever traumas were bestowed upon us and is also necessary for us to learn discernment...

Sometimes you just CAN'T forgive and wish them well. The heart is not an auto gear. But you can put it aside and eventually forget about it.

It’s okay to not forgive in certain situations. 
It doesn’t mean you are not spiritual. 
It doesn’t mean that you are unresolved. 
It doesn’t mean you will come back in the next lifetime having to live it through again. 

The assumption that forgiving the abuser is the benchmark of a completed emotional and karmic process is the mistake. 
It’s another way the new cage movement insensitively vilifies the victim. 
The real benchmark of resolution is whether we have gone through our emotional process authentically and have arrived at a place where the negative charge around the experience has dissipated. 
Perhaps we learned some lesson, or perhaps we just feel liberated from the memories- the important thing is that we feel at peace again.

I like the gentleness implied in letting go of expectation of forgiveness. It allows us to authentically process more fully.
This is a perfect remedy for the layperson's understanding of forgiveness. However, I was under the understanding that true forgiveness is about being at peace within, rather than being about the abuser. 

No need to forget about the abuser's deeds, as they are a lesson in boundaries going forward. 


You can only heal your heart with your heart, and to do that we have to open the heart wide enough for its healing elixir to rain down on our pain. 
Why bury the tears that heal us? 
Why bury the emotions that fertilize our expansion? 
Emotional release is a potent way to regain a genuine experience of the moment.