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Sunday, February 2, 2014

Fear speaks so reasonably....

The thought arose as I was typing that 
"Bring it!!" 

Being alive with all that excitement, all that crazy YES energy feels like unrestrained exploration into the unknown a knowing and wilful leap into cluelessness and mystery such gratitude for this gift of being me. 
I love this one so much and yet I fear it. 

This is what all the fear has been about in the first place I think, the ones who claim to be fearless are often largely mechanical. 
The fear is buried so deep we are not aware of it.

I'm being lived. I know, another interpretation, and so, not really the truth. But the truth is an elusive and some interpretations more than others just feel helpful sometimes in bringing me back to trusting trust. 

See that raven up there with the glassy eye, clutching his heart in his beak? 

That means something to me, illustrates an experience of what it feels like, sometimes, this being lived. 
And sometimes this writing illustrates it too but not to be taken too seriously either by me or by you if you're reading this. 
Well, taking it seriously is okay too, as long as the taking seriously is not taken seriously.

It's a beautiful morning here, so crisp and clear. And I'm hauling a load of crap to the dump - literally - later on. This life that is living me is taking me to the dump on a beautiful crystal clear day. I'm so grateful. Honestly...dump runs are a very deep motion, God's way of celebrating impermanency.

The world is opening as quickly as I am. The aperture of definition of self, other, and circumstance is of less and less interest. 
I prefer a life of a wide-open variety, with no past and no future, and just now now now now and now.  
Joy plays best in open fields.

Wanting nothing
I the sun
At the centre of
The universe
Each adorable spinning planet arranged so perfectly
So hot and bright
Those even all these tears of gratitude
For the mercy

Cannot extinguish.