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Monday, November 4, 2013

Q: What if I don't know what to do?


When I don't know what I want to do, I do something regardless.


It is taking a lifetime to feel that I am worth whatever I want to do. I sit here learning that nothing actually stops me from doing anything I want except My Stuff and some basics physics regarding organic and inorganic chemistry.

I freak thinking of the amount of actual options for things I can actually do. It's like thinking of infinity. It's brainbreakers.

When I am stuck, I think of what I know I don't want to do. That list can be massive too so I start with just the things I am currently doing that I hate doing. 

That helps me get an idea of what to stop doing and creates a reality hole of "doing something else time" that will naturally fill in with whoknowswhat simply because there is no way to stop doing everything altogether completely and absolutely without being deceased.

There really is no one doing anything, but no one wants to hear that.

Sometimes I have to shout in a conversation just to help the other person realize I am not living in their fantasy or having their experience.

I don't mind raising my voice.