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Saturday, April 3, 2010

The One Thing That You cannot Do Without

The One Thing That You cannot Do Without

As a parent, what is the one thing you cannot do without? Most people would automatically say "love,"

which is certainly right. But then you have to ask a deeper question, "Where does love come from?"

By itself, the bond of love isn't enough, because it frays and sometimes breaks. We all raise our children according to what we call love, yet today's young people still have horrendous problems.

I think it goes deeper than love, the one thing you can't do without is INNOCENCE. Innocence is the source of love, innocence, as I am defining it here, isn't naivete but quite the opposite..........OPENNESS.

Innocence is the knowledge that you can guide children but never control them. We must be open to the person within every child, a person who is bound to be different from you, with a peaceful heart.

Life is never certain and your child are guaranteed to go in directions you cannot predict, to do things you would never do. Uncertainty is a given, because life is nothing but change. In innocence you can accept this, been telling myself - you will let go of your need to make your children conform to your preconceived notions.

I think, innocence is the knowledge that your child is yours and yet not yours.

Everyone is ultimately a child of spirit, we all grew up belonging to a family, but this is a very loose kind of belonging. Mostly we belong to ourselves, which means to our spirit or soul or essence.

It is easy to say that every child is unique and precious but what really makes it true is innocence, being able to look at a child as a soul embarked on the journey of soul-making. This means giving up some deeply imprinted patterns about parenting.

The most good we can do for ourselves spiritually is to play our role as parent with total love, conviction and purpose.

I think some people may argue against this whole nation, but every parent has had moments when the look in a child's eye told a tale of infinite wisdom, of experiences that go far beyond this particular moment in time and space. I know this has been true with my Adam. I've put him to bed, read stories to him, thrown a ball around and sat proudly through his violin and play recitals. The whole time I was doing this, I was a mummy and he were the kids.

But there have been other, rarer moment when the whole facade fell away. I've seen my son give me a glance that said," here we are again. What an interesting game we're playing this time." And I've seen him smile in such a way that I just knew he was on the verge of laughing out loud at the masks I've have put on to keep our roles alive.

In those precious glances and smiles I felt the bond of innocence, which is more powerful than love because it transcends love. When we can see past the role playing and still act our role with love and dedication, then I believe we are truly spiritual in your approach to parenting.

As parents, then, when we teach our children is no different from what we must keep teaching ourselves