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Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Keeping Steady

Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds
Or bends with the remover to remove;
O no; it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempest, and is never shaken
                            (Shakespeare, Sonnet CXV1, I remember this for as long as I can remember)

Do you remember how you manage with your old-fashioned parents? What did you most want from them in those turbulent years when you started to find yourself?

Accept that your relationship with your children can seldom be very good during these years, but it can be good enough.
When things go wrong, take time to see why they did go wrong and learn from the experience.
Always be prepared to change your attitudes.
Examine yourself to see how you use your leisure, what props you require and on what you are dependent.

Your children will ask even more than this from you. You need to trust in the power that will guide them through this time; you can only do this by strengthening your own contact with the divine in yourself. And this means strengthening your inner life.

Work together as parents, sharing deeply your response to all that happens. Your marriage will take on a new richness through strengthening your teamwork, and your other children will thrive in the purposeful atmosphere of your home.

When you discuss anything with your teenage child, do so with due regard for the individuality that is emerging within them. Your regard will help their self hood to emerge, and what grows in them may prove greater than you ever expected.

An overall guiding word would be 'praise'. Praise every achievement, every evidence of growth in your son or daughter. But praise, too, their struggles and even their failures, for they point the way to achievement in the future. And don't only praise them; accept their praise for you when there is occasion for it.

I am still learning but this is my experience so far, hoping it will help you as it help me.