We are all special beings, as in unique, relative to all other species on Earth. Many human qualities elevate us above the rest of the animal kingdom.

Life in the wide world goes on much as it has these past ages, full of its own comings and goings, scarcely aware of the existence of being... for which I am very thankful. 

Well, what can I tell you? 

It needs to hurt in order to be worthy of the word. 

Otherwise it is just wanting.

I really miss her presence in this world, my world and the physical aspects of her body being here.

I hope I am able to find my way out of the grief and live on with purpose again. Never have I felt such emptiness. I feel like I am a shell with nothing inside. My stomach hurts so much. Or is it my heart? I feel sick.

Nothing can prepare you for what it’s like to lose your mum. I’ve had many friends throughout the years who have lost their own mothers. I felt sad for them and offered words of comfort. I had absolutely no idea though how excruciating it is to no longer have your mother with you.

If you haven’t lost your mother, you won’t fully understand the depths of grief one goes through. The pain is crippling, and it hits you at random moments. 

One minute you might be fine, and the next minute you are curled up in a ball on your bedroom floor in inconceivable pain. If you have lost your mother, then you’re probably sitting there nodding your head in agreement.

I ask your loving assistance dear god in helping me enter this year free of the past and future.

Let me step into a new me, filled with wonder, exploding with the excitement of a child, curious and trusting that the Universe is dancing with me as I discover more and more of my true nature and the exquisite beauty of this life of mine.
Let me shake like dead leaves from a tree thoughts that cloud my heart and fears that menace my freedom.

Allow me to laugh at the things I fear and breathe into the courage to be myself as I face the unknown.

Know I am grateful beyond measure and words and live to make my contribution matter, even if by only adding my open heart to a world in suffering.

The purity, innocence of the mind is our constant companion, as each moment becomes an opportunity of creative “being”.

Through this way of “being” - as pure Consciousness - we ourselves create a new world in which Love, beauty, compassion and kindness become a reality which positively influences the whole of humankind.

So be it this new day.

love light and peace
ps/smoh

I really miss your presence in this world dear mummy and...thanks for everything.
Love forever