Have Faith

Search This Blog

Saturday, January 16, 2016

Day 20

Life will never be normal again. It will be different, but it will never be as it was.
How could it be? For the first few weeks, your friends will be wonderful. They’ll offer you lots of smiles and hugs.
They’ll offer to take you to dinner and they’ll listen as you talk about how bad the pain is.
You’ll hear a lot of “I’m here for you”, and “If there’s anything I can do” comments during this time.
After a couple of weeks,and months it will seem like people have forgotten that you lost this important part of your life.
They’ll stop asking how you are, and they might even look worried when you want to talk about your mum.
I am very lucky having a few good friends that fast over me regardless. These friends indeed are family I chose for myself.
You see, people who haven’t gone through this pain think there’s a period of grieving and that's it.
After a certain time, you should be ready to move on with your life and "get over it."
But you will never get over it.
I'd never tell anyone to 'look on the bright side' or 'get over it'. It's cruel and completely invalidating of someone's deep pain, grief, despair. One cannot heal trauma by denying or minimizing its existence.

The pain will lessen, and the moments of intense grief will be farther apart, but how can you ever get over losing your mother?

I am at a loss for adequate words to express my sadness. I am so blessed that I was able to spend some time with her but it wasn’t enough. 
Friends always mention closure at a time of loss. 
They say 
"At least you got to say goodbye and had some time with her recently". That "closure" is never something you experience with the loss of a loved one.

I have learned life-long lessons through her kindness and in her memory; I will walk through life with a bigger heart. 
I'm having such a hard time making sense of your passing. I am standing by your side in my prayers every night mum. 

love light and peace