Life will never be normal again. It will be different, but
it will never be as it was.
How could it be? For the first few weeks, your friends will
be wonderful. They’ll offer you lots of smiles and hugs.
They’ll offer to take you to dinner and they’ll listen as
you talk about how bad the pain is.
You’ll hear a lot of “I’m here for you”, and “If there’s
anything I can do” comments during this time.
After a couple of weeks,and months it will seem like people
have forgotten that you lost this important part of your life.
They’ll stop asking how you are, and they might even look
worried when you want to talk about your mum.
I am very lucky having a few good friends that fast over me
regardless. These friends indeed are family I chose for myself.
You see, people who haven’t gone through this pain think
there’s a period of grieving and that's it.
After a certain time, you should be ready to move on with
your life and "get over it."
But you will never get over it.
I'd never tell anyone to 'look on the bright side' or 'get
over it'. It's cruel and completely invalidating of someone's deep pain, grief,
despair. One cannot heal trauma by denying or minimizing its existence.
The pain will lessen, and the moments of intense grief will
be farther apart, but how can you ever get over losing your mother?
I am at a loss for adequate words to express my sadness. I
am so blessed that I was able to spend some time with her but it wasn’t enough.
Friends always mention closure at a time of loss.
They say
"At least you
got to say goodbye and had some time with her recently". That
"closure" is never something you experience with the loss of a loved
one.
I have learned life-long lessons through her kindness and in
her memory; I will walk through life with a bigger heart.
I'm having such a
hard time making sense of your passing. I am standing by your side in my
prayers every night mum.
Namaste
love light and peace
ps/smoh
