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Saturday, October 31, 2015

When it comes to gossip... "If the gossip with you, they'll gossip about you" Exactly!

Gossip only tears someone down when we are supposed to be building them up.
Two things that I have found to be true about gossip:
1.) If they'll gossip WITH you, they'll gossip ABOUT you. Healthy friendship requires #trust, and it's hard to trust a gossiper.
2.) Malicious gossip doesn't always speak to the subject's true character, but passing it on speaks to yours.
A lot have suffered dearly for the rumours and gossip of others and can tell you the only way is to forgive them.

Many moons again I had a friend who told me something she shouldn’t have, I took her at face value and stopped talking to the other person.  Over the years, she would say, I have to tell you something but don’t repeat it. 
I’d always think it was about her but it would be about that friend or others.  Finally 5 years later I found out from her that I completely misunderstood what she had the first time which made me stop talking to the friend. 
I was livid and vowed never to be involved in gossip again. It took me years to find that person but I did, apologized and picked up where we left off.

You can tell me any story you want but your story ends with me and I'll be damned if I share any story but my own with you.  Hard lesson ever to learn but at least I was able to make amends. I have always kept this lesson with me, and it is life changing.

Keeping in mind...there is a difference between gossip and speaking the truth.

I have always looked at how people treat others, both in and outside the others presence just to keep my distance. 
Works reliably well for identifying and avoiding negative people.

“Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.”

Remember this even when you are standing up for yourself or giving stern advice, you can do it in a constructive manner. 
We as humans evolved to gossip. 
We use gossip as a tool for social bonding with one another, to create stronger bonds, consequently for survival and psychological well-being. I do believe though that there is good gossip and bad gossip. 
Some people just go too far when talking negatively about someone else for example. It can get uncomfortable and makes one wonder if they say the same thing about you.

We have two eyes, two ears but one mouth. I believe we should think twice before we speak.
Beware of the one that always got something to say...

Gossip has fucked a lot of friendships up. Once one does it, the others feel the need to chip in until they've all convinced themselves the person they are gossiping about is a bad person.  
Women especially need to empower themselves not to do this. 

Gossipers never asked, they accused, abused, humiliate, all who involved has no Principle and when you react to their actions, you are the Bitch.

"Small minds discuss people. Medium minds discuss events. Great minds discuss ideas." Just as true today as it was when Eleanor Roosevelt first made this observation.

And if you want to spread lies be sure it is believable.....it is you who have no brain but other have and they used it.

love light and peace