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Saturday, December 6, 2014

I like playing with 'can I see what the eyes in the mirror might be looking at?

When I look at myself in the mirror, I think I don’t know her.
Who is she?
Familiar self thinks it's because she looks old. True nature knows…….whoever “I” am, that’s not it. But then......there is someone......looking back. Smiling when I smile.......puzzled when I am, leaving when I walk away without getting involved with any thought at all while looking in the mirror, there's no puzzlement, just the clarity of knowingness itself.

Yeah, but there's a being there, a creature, someone you've lived with your entire life, know entirely EVERYTHING about, all its thoughts, everything it's ever done, every fart, every kiss; you've wiped its ass thousands of times and bathed it as many; made love to it as only a person can make love to oneself; were there for every embarrassment, every accomplishment, all the disappointments, all the love that didn't work out quite the way it was supposed to.
So, for me, to stand there gazing into its eyes and see how much it feels like a stranger to me, this one whose happiness I am totally devoted to, well, it helps me to understand what a daunting task it might be to take on "getting to know" another.
It’s kind of absurd actually.

For me, knowingness is only knowingness insofar as it surrounds itself with content to know, were there no one in the mirror, there would be no knowingness.

Change with time I am, I exist inside an old body which is aging Body .I am me who lived inside a monsters mask. I and Sayang who lived inside the body of a pretty young girl, I exist with or without Image.
Only my inner self exist. I was taught this by a dog. You are Sayang; I know you and have known you in all your many costumes since as long as I can remember having had thought. You Sayang have existed for me in many many forms and when you no longer exist in the form you now see in the mirror I will still know you. You are Sayang and shall always be and I shall always recognize you. We may just half to look a little harder…
We only live inside these rubbery mask and they change as time goes by just as who we all are our inner selves living the beneath the masks

If one is able to not get involved "with any thought at all while looking in the mirror." And I believe that is possible for some......for you, I trust. But thoughts do come for me as I look at the changing face of this intimate stranger who looks back at me. Thoughts that begin with...."How......why......who.....when..." and then start to morph, dissolve into....."
Thank you.......thank you.....however did you manage? Thank you....thank you...poor, beautiful, kind, frightened, sweet, hurt, mended, wonderful old girl."


Peek-a-Boo Peek-a-Boo Peek-a-Boo who loves you? I do I do....  ps/smoh