is the me that is trying to grasp it.”
You can doubt everything except doubting.
You can doubt everything except this moment, in which there is, undoubtedly, doubt arising.
You cannot doubt that.
You can doubt the language that is being used to point to the current experience of doubt, you can doubt the verifiability of the experience, but you cannot doubt that there is something happening, presently, in this moment.
You can doubt that there was an experience a moment ago, you can even doubt that there will be experience in a moment’s time, but you cannot doubt this moment.
And although you may doubt everything that can be said about existence, and doubt that there is even such a thing as ‘existence’,
you cannot doubt the reality to which the word ‘existence’ points, the reality of this moment, the reality of this, this and this.
And so you find yourself walking in the darkness, the night sky glimmering beyond the warm orange glow of flickering street lamps, and you doubt it all.
You are, you exist, that is primary, and all else is nonsense, all else is just mental noise.
Before you are something, you are.
Before you can know what you are, you are.
Before you can doubt that you are, you are.
This undeniable reality of I am is not a mental concept, not a theory to be debated, but a reality to be experienced. It is fully in your awareness, right now. Indeed it is your awareness, right now, so you can never lose it or gain it. It simply is.
When all else has been doubted and discarded, only awareness will be left, only I am
Then you will literally melt into the divine mystery of this moment,
you will simply dissolve in bewilderment at the astonishing fact that you are here at all, that any of this is happening.
You will not believe it is possible,
you will fall to the ground in amazement at your own existence, at the apparent existence of other things, at the fact there can be apparent relationships between things, between yourself and others, even though in reality there are no others, no things, and certainly no self.
You will die, literally die, into the nothingness of it all, the nothingness that contains all things, the nothingness that is total fullness.
You will realise at long last that yes, of course, you are that nothingness/fullness, and you always have been.
With utter clarity, it will be seen that nothingness/fullness is the essence of it all, the reason for it all, the cause of it all, the beginning and end of it all, for all eternity and beyond.
And there will be great laughter, and great lightness.
You will laugh at even these thoughts, which like all thoughts are just pointless mental noise.
You will come to rest in the simplicity of being, in the obviousness of present-moment awareness.
You will come to deeply accept what life throws at you now, now and now.
You will have found your true home, and nothing will ever be able to hurt you again.
jf/ps/smoh
