On the healing journey, it's always good to ask-
Am I
healing my wounds, or attaching to them?
Am I letting go or grabbing on?
Am I
committed to healing my way to a new way of being, or am I simply hiding in my
process?
Therapy is not a place to hide from happiness. It's a place
to clear the obstacles to happiness.
It's a place to come alive.
It is one thing to work hard to own and clear our emotional
debris. If we don't, the wounds eat us alive. We must acknowledge we have been
a victim and work through our memories so that they don't continue to plague
us.
But it is another thing to make our wounds our identity.
I know many who do
this- hiding in their therapeutic process, delaying their happiness until they
work through 'one more issue', perpetually focusing on what is missing from
their lives while ignoring the beauty before them.
When we affix to our wounds,
when we wear them like a habitual cloak, we prevent them from moving through to
the transformation at their core.
The more we clear our emotional debris, the less likely we
are to project.
My own life' s journey; the years of dissatisfaction with
myself, even at times self-hatred, learned from a society that doesn't let us
simply be just the way we find ourselves but always wants us to be somehow
different it s all so poignantly reflected here.
My decades in religion, then later spirituality, all of them
an attempt to address my perceived inadequacy my days of stormy, darkened
clouds, watering down and dampening my dreams, as I fought the fight my
upbringing taught me against living like a cornflower somewhere in a morning
field, far away from singing out to the sky's vermillion sunrise, with not
a care in the world.
Until, at last, I began to awaken to the central insight
of me, which my being isn’t something to be endlessly apologized for,
but that God's divinity and me are the same.
Safe pity is a stagnant emotion look for resolution to a more stable peaceful being.
The real benchmark of resolution is whether we have gone through our emotional process authentically and have arrived at a place where the negative charge around the experience has dissipated. Perhaps we learned some lesson, or perhaps we just feel liberated from the memories- the important thing is that we feel at peace again.
ps/smoh
