Boundary setting is not about getting other people to change. It is about deciding what you are prepared to tolerate and then communicating those limits firmly and consistently.

If you have poor boundaries, you might take responsibility for other people’s feelings and problems. Your life may be chaotic and full of drama. 

You may find it difficult to say ‘no’ for fear of rejection. 

You might be either overly responsible and controlling, or passive and dependent in your relationships with others. You will be very tolerant of other’s abusive behaviour towards you. 

You will compromise your values in order to please someone or avoid conflict.

Helpful tips for setting healthy boundaries:

Do it even though you feel selfish or guilty. You have a right to take care of yourself.
Start with the easiest ones.
Do it clearly without emotion and in as few words as possible.
Do not justify, apologise or rationalise.
You WILL be tested by others that are used to being able to control or manipulate you. Remain firm or just walk away.
Develop a support system of those who respect your boundaries.

Learning to set healthy boundaries takes time.

If you have unhealthy boundaries, you will attract those that will take advantage of them. So start attracting healthier people into your life

There is nothing to force. Everything is already happening. Endless learning is another name for consciousness....

For a long time I was still fond of the idea of God. I liked thinking of God more or less as synonymous with reality.
I often pointed out that the God I believed in was the same God any being believed.
It was simply a word for reality, a word that sometimes invoked in me a devotional feeling towards reality, existence. I still feel a great reverence.
But the reverence is for nothing in particular. Perhaps you could say that my concept of God now is more or less equal to nothing in particular.

I used to experience longing.

And I tended to think the thing I longed for was particularly unique or sacred and therefore justified a terrible longing despite the suffering. But that isn't really my experience any longer.
The whole thing holds a lot less intensity now.

I'm a big fan of ordinary experience.

And I don't experience longing for that because it's already the case.

Longing for something absent, yet I don't really experience anything as absent.

When people talk about God...I so much want to know what they mean by 'God'...asking that question can provoke pity, as if I am a Lost Soul-or even a kind of repellence-my refusal to 'believe?' my arrogance?...

Actually I neither believe or the opposite.
My only honest response so far is I don’t know..

Dogmatic being are just as bad as self righteous 'believers'...it’s that certainty and superiority that’s worries me..

'Certainty' tends to create a very closed experience that shuts down wonder or reverence.

At the most basic level I think 'certainty' coincides with some level of stress or tension. So that sounds good to me.
One thing, though.
Nobody else being 'certain' ever causes me stress.
Only my own certainty ever does that.

Maybe it’s a temperament thing, intensity of experience is vital to me, beliefs etc aside. I think certainty can very much coincide with wonder and reverence.

So, going back to is there an ultimate Subjectivity, God, Truth?

I don’t know, to the extent there is, then it becomes apparent in the wondering if it's so more than in the knowing that it's so, in my experience.
That's the paradox of it.

I'm not sure I'd describe it as certainty or truth any more than I'd call it God.

I think any word can become something we get stuck on unless we hold it really lightly.

I don't pray in the way you're describing.

I can't easily convey where my thinking goes instead. I see that my own thinking is directly responsible for how I view 'things'.
So although there is no controlling 'events' there is always the freedom to question thinking/assumptions/expectations *about* events.

And over time, I've learned that's where the suffering is born and not in events themselves. The net result is that the belief that I need control to be ok has dissolved.

Regarding gratitude..
My experience is that it doesn't require an object.

I don't need to believe in a creator in order to feel gratitude for creation.

ps/smoh

Keep it simple when it comes to your intuition. Tune into your heart and always trust your vibes.

To have both is to be the most dangerous thing on the island, or the most useful.

Emotional Intelligence is more important in life than I.Q. One can have an amazingly high IQ and still be emotionally stunted at the age of a tantruming two year old. 

This happens a lot. 

You may have noticed. 

It often shows up as malignant narcissism. 

My EQ was always higher than my IQ; fortunately I'm just highly gifted.  Hahahaha

This magnificent machine has a dual processor...both needs to be aligned for it to work at highest capacity.

It would be nice to be highly intelligent and emotionally mature.... I am sure there are a few people out there who have made it. 

In fact I have actually met a few.

Most humans are driven by emotion. In every arena. In all areas of life. Simply observe and that becomes very obvious.

To me it seems that many people simply ignore their intuitive and emotional signals and instead forge straight ahead with some dogma of logic that their ego has convinced them to pursue. You can't appeal to those people with emotion, lest you 'upset them' and 'make them' angry.

Emotional body in denial is the worst condition. 

Blaming, casting out, ignoring, tamping down emotion response is ugly and stultifying. 

That energy has to be moved. 

Emotions move. 

It is their nature. That doesn't mean club everyone over the head with them, it means feel and deal as a friend would say.

Emotions heal the body and mind when they move as is their nature. Mind and emotion in balance is heart. At least, that's what I have found works for me.

It seems the most effective strategy is simply to resist "enabling" such emotionally stunted, selfish individuals.

Along with immaturity, many are also amoral and cannot "connect" to the feelings of others. 

If they cannot get their way, then they try other strategies...they may not be genuine or caring, but at least, sometimes, they are not as demanding, threatening or obnoxious.

I admit to a special "sadistic streak" when dealing with others who act this way -- 

I make them apologize and express sincere regret for their insults, demands or crude behaviour. I consider it a form of slow reform. 

But if they don’t well I have nothing to lose....Byeee  *__*

With emotionally immature people, especially with high IQs, you have to consistently give a clear message that you are not to be abused and what the consequences are if you are. 

Set clear firm limits and be consistent. 

ps/smoh

Numbers are agreements between brains, like sounds and letters. No one has ever left the sandbox.

I'm a moving contradiction. 

My experience is my experience, and it changes constantly. 

The changes are subtle. 

So it appears that nothing changes, if I'm not there to notice. 

But when I'm here to notice the momentum of change is wondrous and diverse in form. 

The kicker is I am always here noticing, of course right!!! 

But an appearance, a labelled believed experience can make think otherwise, when seeking for salvation from my pain. 

There is no salvation beyond what is happening. 

For this reason, in an ultimate sense it is ridiculous to seek freedom from pain. 

But from the place of being a person it is not. 

So I will seek no pain until I can dill with responsibly. 

Only when I can learn this responsibility in my experience can I have the freedom I desire, even though it is always right in front of me. 

ps/smoh

" Get your bloated nothingness out of the way of the divine circuits.” "Give all to love; obey thy heart."

-"To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead." - Thomas Paine

One of my favourite things about new thought teaching was discovering for the first time the brilliance of Emerson, Thoreau and others of that time. 

They awoke to the deeper reality and gathered together to discuss their awareness and how to bring this enlightened understanding back into the community. 

For those who are compelled to do so...they tend to change things for the better.

I'm feeling deeply inspired in much the same way. 

Reason prevents the heart from making heartless mistakes.

"Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail."

The Real cannot be apprehended by reason, yet a trail can be communicated of its fragrance. 

" The mystics are the treasure houses of God. He deposits in them the knowledge of mysteries and information concerning wonderful things and they speak of them with the tongues of eternity and interpret them with an interpretation which is everlasting" - Emerson

ps/smoh

Fear of Not Knowing...

--The fear of not knowing what billions of animals made up has created entire generations of wonderkinds who believe intelligence and stupidity are real things. To all those who ever thought someone really knew the truth, a salute to you! No one around knows their mass from a hole in the sound! 

--In all matches of stakes, play best and cheer for other to win. Maximizes overall gaming pleasure by utilizing both self-respect and empathic joy.

--Survival is not really a game of stakes. It is more like an untreasure hunt.

--Exactness on the # of humans on the island is impossible. Approximations only. Can't even know who all is here! HA!

--It is a kindness to be a homebody.

--Desire chooses reality. Consequences are impartial.

--Biological desire and cultural desire are different enough ways to suffer.

--The cessation of suffering doesn't have to last that long. It can be brief.

--Compassion is sincerely understanding desires don't feel that great.

--An A+ is just someone power trippin'. Which one of these monkeys has the authority to hand out grades on make-believe?

--Patience with desires is a key feature to maximizing smilin'.

--Desire is streamlined. It does not possess the luxury of options. It mirrors reality as is.

--Failure doesn't have to be achieved.

--Laughter feels better than grieving the loss of control.

--Love is the cheapest and most effective beauty product on the island.

--Universe? Yeah right, like anyone's around who has seen one of those.

--Between sufferings, sloggings, and slumberings awe fills in the cracks in the Damn!

--Culture is the fence between mysteries.

--Aliens; each and every mutation.

--Youthfulness is the joy of being able to not care too much about other people's stuff.

--Zen is the sudden erection of a ? into a ! at the sight of a 0.

Simply true, between sight and sound....

( •_•)
\( (> 
/ \   We spend our lives defending and protecting identities that will be forgotten forever. This can make us a little fussy and neurotic. 
Today, this one persona of mine arose in her gertrudian magnificence of smallness and defensiveness. About five minutes after she was on centre stage I found myself laughing out very loudly.

We are not our reputation... a hard lesson to learn! We see us everywhere we look, our head is so massive.
We is surfing the edge of us.

We’re love when we aren't fear.
We’re kindness when we aren't competing.
We’re patience when we aren't anxious.
We’re courage when we aren't waiting.
We’re the art of motion and emotion.
We don't have to fight us over what we say.
We can love us as we are.

ps/smoh

Found my identity changing like 1000 times a day. Is it even an identity...?

Use it...

There is virtually nothing that is impossible for you. 

You have been given more power than most people have ever dared to imagine. 

You have awe inspiring power at your command, and all you have to do is to learn how to use it.

It is said that humans only use 10% of our brains, but even at 10% our thoughts have tremendous power. 

Just think what you could do if you learned to use just a small amount more, or even if you learned to control the small percentage that you do use.

Once you learn to use the power of your thoughts, and use those thoughts to purposely manifest the things that you want in your life, you will start to realize the power that you have at your command.

You weren't given this power to merely wish you could be who you want to be and do what you want to do; you were given this power to live a life of abundance and happiness. 

Isn't it time that you learn to use the power of your mind?

Assume there is such a thing as cause-effect. Then what determines how a cause is turned into what effect. That could be free will / creativity.

No one dreams of meeting aliens that are in a graver state than man is, or weaker, or stupider. It is an equal possibility though.

That's only daunting if one's hoping and worrying while waiting for something to happen :)

I am once again making a desperate attempt to swallow the whole ocean into my belly.

The more and more conclusions your mind generates about existence, is the more boundaries you create for yourself.

Truth is not some kind of conclusion for your mind to grasp.

For those who are involved in the inner process of inquiry, what is important is not truthfulness, what is important is any skilful means that helps to deepen your perception.

For now it is enough to simply understand that for whatever reasons, you have accumulated a mass of memories in your mind which carry certain tendencies, causing you to gravitate in various different ways through life.

That is what psychological karma is all of the tendencies of past memories which are influencing the present.

If you observe your mind this will be found to be obvious.

There is no need to drag metaphysical and philosophical ideas into this.

Our intuition keeps us true to ourselves when we listen to what it is telling us, we can then deal with the reality of our circumstances and make changes

Our intuition is alive and working more than we often acknowledge. 
We play hide and seek with it and pretend we are tuned out when if fact, we are very tuned in. 
Its just that what we intuitively feel wither scares us or asks us to let go of our control and do something different. 
What is your heart saying that are successfully ignoring? 
Once you acknowledge it, you will know it's true for you. 
The next step is to trust it. 
It's easier than you think.

All my love

THINK BIG AND BEYOND...

That is "me's" job, to take things personally. Isn't that a trip?

Yesterday there was a bunch of talking and then a bunch of remembering to be silent and then a bunch of talking. 
It was a trip. 
Like, no one is in charge of anything. The mouth opens and the voice responds and then the thought comes,
"Dude, you are silent, remember?"
"Oh yeah! Why?"
"I don't know."
"Cool. I don't know either."
Nothing is personal.

The learning that is happening here this week is awesome.

First, I learned that I was totally trying to be heard by others. The whole impetus to stop talking came from this moment where I was blabbing away and this dude made a face my father used to make and I saw it clear as day:

"I am trying to be heard." It was so obvious, and looking back over the last two-three years, SOOO obvious. I have been a little kid hoping her daddy and mommy would hear her.

I saw that and I went quiet because I knew it was a futile desire.

Since then, and since speaking continues to happen automatically, what has become obvious is that there are at least two kinds of speaking:

1. "I want to be heard by others." Impossible and futile and endlessly painful to wait for this one. In the last few days, this has become so obvious. No one is coming and no one is listening.

2. There isn't really a good way to say this one: Speaking "happens", responding appropriately to the context of the moment. This is the "no one is in charge" sense.

With writing, there is something energetically different. 
If no one reads this, it doesn't matter to me. 
 It is nice to get it out.

However, I notice I can't believe the "I want to be heard" nugget of conditioning that has been operating for the last 52 years.
This changing the way and when I speak, as far as I can tell.

Most personalities live out of opposing forces. 

We bought into the notion we are not lovable and spend a lifetime wanting to be loved, trying to earn love and losing our lives to a lie we came to believe. 
We bought into a thought that no one cares what we have to say and spend a life trying to be heard. We bought into a thought that we are not good or not good enough and a life of striving and achievement is lived. 

Clarity comes when we see the original lie we chose to believe. Then we can be loving, achieve, or stand on our soap box, with freedom and joy.
 
Since freedom is our natural state, it will happen eventually. 


ps/smoh

(•_•)
<) )>
/ \  I read a bunch of stuff where people were arguing about who was right and this was the thought I felt was governing the core of the responses,

"Just worship me! I am so right!" Ha!
 

Thought it would be fun to post and see what happens. Seems like some of you added some spices and others added a little cream.
I am sure someone will come along and give this whole thread a stir at some point.

I don't see idiots as much as I see silly putty. As far as I can tell, we're all silly putty.

 

The whole thing is rigged. Fear is the fear of being wrong and everyone is.
What can we do but whatever our version of 'the truth' is,
whether we view life through the prism of religion,
spirituality,
science, or a combination of them all,
we are still looking through a prism of thinking,
still inhabiting a thought-made model of belief, and no model,
however sophisticated or refined, is ever the living reality.
 

Of course thought is a very useful tool.

This rich language we use to express our thoughts and feelings,
the numbers we use to quantify and calculate,
the ingenious concepts involved in the cutting edge of science and technology are all born of the inventiveness of thought.

But thought looking for who we really are is like a character in a movie searching for the screen on which it appears, or the hero in a novel looking for the paper upon which the story is written; it's not difficult, it's impossible.
 

In finding nothing 'out there' we conclude that there's nothing to find;
that the whole notion of something more to life is a delusion bought into only by the those who are somehow flawed, easily led or just plain stupid.

Or else we listen to our intuitive sense of something more, something deeper, and try to capture it, to pin it down, to give it a name, a form, a face, a gender, a size and a position, so as to understand, so as to maintain our vital sense of being in control.
The idea of going beyond thought, beyond belief, of free falling into uncertainty, into the unknown, of being totally exposed and vulnerable with nothing left to hold, is seen as the road to ruin, madness and oblivion.
 

But what if we're wrong?
What if we can go beyond thought, beyond belief and not be destroyed?
What if we can drop all the prisms of thinking and find we're still here, still breathing, still alive?
 

Then, without those conceptual partitions, this effortless, undeniable, self-evident sense of being, this 'amness', is revealed to be undivided from all of experience, is being all of experience; is being the thought that is now considering this statement, the movement and sound of every breath, every sensation, is being even the idea of a 'me' that is reading this text, the one that is supposedly in charge of it all.

Then all of our big experiences in which we place so much importance, of being touched by 'grace', of 'no self', visions of spirits, of light beings, of holy masters, 'out-of-body' experiences, telepathy, clairvoyance, speaking in tongues, communicating with angels, encounters with aliens, the whole gamut of the weird and wonderful are no more extraordinary, no more sacred or holy, than the wonder of right now, in all its everyday ordinariness.

All are unique permutations of image, sound, sensation, taste, smell, thought, feeling, arising and dissolving in, and only ever made out of ourself, 'the baseless fabric of this vision' as Shakespeare puts it. The infinite complexity of all our thought-made distinctions reduced to divine simplicity.

To know oneself as 'all that is', to be fully immersed in life, saturated with all the joy, bliss, heartache and pain, the triumphs and the disasters, the satisfaction and the crushing disappointment, to feel it all, in all its bittersweet glory, is the essence of love.
And as that love radiates throughout our life, there comes a natural movement to cherish our relationships, cherish our communities, cherish and celebrate each and every expression of what we truly are.
 
The transformational power of love becomes our living reality.

ps/smoh

Don't let grass grow on the path of friendship.

In today's world, everyone is so busy working, taking care of those pesky, unexpected hassles that pop up, and just plain running like crazy, 
that we can find time flies by and little time is left to spend with friends and family. 

Life today is hectic!

We have to learn to slow down - simplify. 

Get your priorities straight. 

True friends should always be one of your top priorities. Never neglect your cherished friendships, 
for neglected friendships tend to wither away like a beautiful plant that someone has neglected to water and nourish.

Keep the path to your true friendships well maintained, watered and nourished, and they will continue to flower year after year.

ps/smoh

Just know, intuition doesn't come across in words. It comes through as a vibration that speaks to your heart. Tune in and feel the energy moving you in the direction of your highest and most supportive good, let it..

I ask this day for the patience to allow myself to rest my mind and body and enjoy the peace of my inner spirit. 
Please assist me in releasing from my mental grip all that concerns and 
troubles my being and help me turn my life over to the guidance of your will over mine. 

Let me sit back and use my eyes and ears 
to look for signs of your most loving presence overseeing my way, and 
use my heart to follow these subtle threads through the darkest corners of my fears and 
into the bright light of your ever present wisdom. 

Let me breathe in the knowing that this day, in your spirit and mine, all is well. 

I ask this day for the presence of mind and heart to move beyond the story I carry about my life, and surrender instead into the fullness and wonder of simply being ME in this life. 

Let me remember that 
my true nature is pure love and light, 
energy in motion creating my glorious human experience, 
an artist in every sense, and 
assist my effort so that this day I create unspeakable beauty. 

Grant me the grace this day to live to the edges of my true SELF and allow you, God, to move through me.

Feeling your deep love for me in my heart and soul and 
I am filled with gratitude beyond measure for all the blessings you shower upon me this and every day of my life. 

Help me now open to living my greater self this day and leave my limited and wounded self behind. 

Wake up my senses to this moment so that I may be filled from within, 
seeing,
hearing, 
tasting, 
touching, and 
taking in the scents of my exquisite life, 
knowing that from my soul's perspective, 
pain and pleasure,light and dark, it's all good. 

And so it is.

ps/smoh

As circumstances change, the ways of dealing with them alter too. Han Fei Tzu

Self-defence means self-defence, period. It leaves nothing out. 

Well, I have got news for you, in case you haven’t noticed, circumstances have changed. It’s a different world. We live in a society where employees can foil an armed robbery, possibly saving their lives, and the lives of others around them, and still be reprimanded and fired for their actions. 
We live in a society where an armed criminal can break into your home to rob and injure you, and if you shoot him and paralyse him, he can sue you for protecting yourself.

Today, you not only have to defend yourself against predators and criminals, but you also have to defend yourself against the police, the government and the legal system.

In the long run, our inept and corrupt legal system has done more damage to many people’s lives than physical assaults, which were short of death, could have possibly done. 
This fact is sad but true. 
Self-defence today is much trickier than at any time in the history of our world.

These facts clearly signify that our world has changed. 

The mental patients are now in charge of the asylum. 
There is an ancient Indian proverb which states, 
“If you live in the river you should make friends with the crocodile.” 

You must understand all of the possible dangers that you could face in today’s world, not merely the ones that you learn about in your martial arts class.

ps/smoh

Things shift when we shift. Whatever I am doesn't mind visitors....

I find truth in anything anyone ever says about me, so nobody can be my enemy. 

Call me a fraud, I can find it. 
Call me a liar, I can find it. 
Call me a failure, I can find it. 
Call me unreasonable, irresponsible, ignorant, deluded, full of ego, totally unenlightened, the worst being in the world, I can find all of it. 

As consciousness, I can find anything. 

Like you, I have have nothing to hide, nothing to lose, and no image to protect. 

Every possible facet of human experience is available here. 

This is truly the end of war. 

It is the end of protecting and defending a mirage called 'me'. 

So, next time you get triggered by something someone says to you or about you, ask yourself this: 
"What am I defending?" 

This inquiry is the key to unimaginable peace. 
Deep gratitude to anyone who has ever given me any kind of feedback.


note to G, Rose, and Sue with love <3 span="">

ps/smoh

Remain as that... you are that! Awakening is just the beginning for you - it's not the end. If that's where you believe you are, live your dream!

( •_•)

\( (>

/ \    Life is still the cosmic adventure it always was. There are no ordinary moments. I love being in the present moment. 

It is my true Home. 

It's the only place where I ever am.

Any thought, sensation, feeling, image, memory, dream, vision, has always appeared right here, where I am, the only place we truly 'meet'. 

It is really about sitting with ourselves exactly as we are. In a sense the simplest of teachings yet not the easiest.

And the destination is the origin, and it all points to this moment exactly as it is, right now. Stunningly ordinary, yet as vast as the universe, as rich and as full as the Ganges at sunrise, as precious as that look in your child’s eyes, so easily forgotten, so soon remembered.

We have always known this, deep down, for we were young children once, and secretly we still are. We just pretended to be ‘grown ups’, that’s all.

It is not the ‘me’ that awakens. 

Awakening cannot enter the story, for it is beyond time and space and cannot be some kind of conclusion for a ‘person’. 

The awakening is from the mirage of ‘me’, with its projects, its plans, its conclusions, its incessant seeking for more, and its never-ending holding up of an image, including the image of myself as some kind of Wizard of Oz, some superhuman, some hyper-awakened being sent down from heaven to awaken the mortals and the ignorant and the unlucky.

For some, this realization is sudden. For many, it is gradual, over a lifetime. 

For all, it is timeless, and for all, the destination is the same  and the destination is the origin, and it all points to this moment exactly as it is, right now. 

Stunningly ordinary, yet as vast as the universe, as rich and as full as the Ganges at sunrise, as precious as that look in your child’s eyes, so easily forgotten, so soon remembered.

There’s no place like Home – the present moment. The Emerald City, however colourful and exciting, do not even come close to the intimacy and majesty of a single instant of being alive. 

Only empty magpie-promises live in that shining city of light and darkness, and the following, following, following, following, following of false prophets living and dying for profit.

There’s no place like Home. 

Click your heels together three times and say it. 

Nothing to lose.

ps/smoh

A note in an Eternal Song. A step in an Infinite Dance.

Exploring the yucky, yummy, juicy, sexy, stinky, crazy, beautiful, grace-soaked non-journey journey we sometimes call 'awakening'.... 

This moment contains no time. That's why it is so infinitely precious. 

The instant I stop looking for 'this moment' I find it everywhere. 

Joy of present moment is bliss.

Out of primordial not-knowing, a cloudburst thought appears, and possession begins. Not-knowing turns to "I don't know" in a heartbeat, and now there is the illusion of a "person who doesn't know".

Is that who you really are? 

A person who doesn't know?

And here, in this misidentification, the search of a lifetime begins. 

The "one who doesn't know" seeks to become its own negation, the "one who knows", assuming that freedom lies in that direction.

"One day, I will know..."

But the liberation we seek was there from the very beginning, prior to the "I don't know", in the impersonal not-knowing, the profound mystery that gives rise to universes. 

Absolute peace.

All the knowledge in the world won't satisfy us. 

The weight of intellectual understanding even suffocates some. 

The books rot, the authority figures die, the clever words are forgotten, and we are brought to our knees in exhaustion, free falling into the loving surrender of not knowing once again. 

It is at it was. 

Nothing except Here, Now, This.

Total simplicity.

A full circle and nothing has ever happened save imagination.

ps/smoh

Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries, clarifying where we end and the other begins. A life-long process...

Boundary refinement is where life occurs!! 

Sometimes uncomfortable, but brings expansion to the soul... 

People with healthy boundaries tend to live somewhere in between. 

They have found the sacred balance between assertiveness and receptivity. 

When they do move toward one polarity, they do so with intentionality. 

They choose to surrender, choose to assert. In all cases, their sense of self remains intact.

State a clear boundary, and sound like a skipping record as calmly as if you are telling the time. 

That is my mantra!

ps/smoh

I don't have to prepare to share what I am...

 I just love that this last week I met a bunch of folks for satsangish style meetings and not once did I think about what I was going to say, saying, or had said. 

It all happens perfectly when I am standing in my heart.....and IF you DO prepare to share what you are.....then that's perfect, too 

That's because, who we are, is already "prepared," is already here/there. 

There is then joy in the spontaneous expression. 

This reminds me of improve comedy performing. 

To live in the moment with your scene partner, you cannot bring anything in your mind, but must simply respond.

Having any expectation about what will happen only interferes. 

We also emphasize being real and allowing/accessing genuine feeling.

There is some implied idea that some people may prepare when interacting with others, perhaps because they feel somewhat anxious when doing so. 

This may emerge from judgements that have been internalized from others, contributing to feelings that one cannot be one's true self. We must give ourselves and one another the permission and space to be who we really are, and take joy in the realness of each. 

In improve comedy two of the most basic premises are: 

1) Everything your partner says or does is a gift; 

2) Make them look brilliant. 

Indeed everything we all do is a gift and is brilliant. 

We're alive now.....?

 Damn! I thought this was a dress rehearsal. 

I was planning on fixing all of my mistakes in the real performance.

ps/smoh

RIVER OF LOVE

When the tensions build in our relationships, when we find ourselves being offhand and unresponsive, 
when we finally explode and argue with our loved ones to prove that it’s their fault and never our own, 
that they are in the wrong, 
that we are the victim, 
is this the beginning of the end or another invitation to go ever deeper?

This bunch of thoughts and feelings that have usurped our identity needs to be right; 
to be wrong is to be utterly humiliated, a kind of a death. 

But who we really are has nothing to fear, no need to be right, no image to uphold or protect. 
We are like the screen on which these words appear, 
that gives them their substance, their very reality; 
that remains as it is whatever drama the story may express.

As that deep recognition, 
like a healing balm, 
seeps into all areas of our life, 
a new possibility opens up: 
the possibility to see some truth in what we're being told, 
to see exactly where we're still pretending, 
where we still misunderstand, 
where we're still rejecting 'uncomfortable' feelings and wanting life to be different.

How incredible, how inspiring, in the heat of battle to see our mistake, to lay down our weapons and offer our heart! 
To fully embrace the energy of the moment as it incinerates all positions, 
all protection, 
all boundaries between 'me' and 'you' leaving us wide open.

And in that openness, that pure intimacy, 
to see my true face in your face, 
my true eyes in your eyes, and 
our troubles dissolve away like rain drops on a river of love.

ps/smoh