Don't allow anyone to live rent free in your mind.

“It is possible to get really mad about something and still be in control, Mum"

asked my 16 year old this afternoon, and he goes on....

 "Either you control your anger or your anger controls you. Anger can be a great motivator or a great destroyer, which do you prefer yours to be?”

Hmmm let me see.....

“IF you are angry and in control of your anger, then you are angry on purpose.  

When you are angry on purpose, or for a purpose, you are in control. Being in control of your emotions is the point...” said I

Never get angry except on purpose. To many people, this sounds ridiculous. After all, why would you get angry on purpose, isn't anger something that just happens to you because of something that happens outside of your control? 

No, it actually isn't.

You make the decision to get angry. 

Only you decide how you will respond to the things that happen in your life. 

If you aren't in control of when you get angry and when you don't, then you have given your power away, and are letting your emotions control you instead of you controlling your emotions.

This is a dangerous position to be in. 

You should decide when to get angry. 

You should control your life, not your emotions.

Please remember this,

"a single moment of misunderstanding is so poisonous, that it makes us forget the hundred lovable moments spent together within minute."

I think it is time for you to start using my most favourite word - 'NO' now...it is the MOST powerful word!

note to AOH

ps/smoh

Why apologize ever for who you are and why ever be ashamed of being YOU

Let’s joyfully and genuinely celebrate the bozo within...

Here’s a secret:

we are all more alike than we are unalike.

We all share the same human foibles. And yet we try to hide those ‘bozo’ qualities from each other. We don’t want people to think we have weakness, weirdness or worries.

God forbid someone should know about your dysfunctional family, your chronic procrastination, or your anxiety about the world, or how about those goofy things you are prone to doing…

Better keep those embarrassing titbits under wraps…

What a waste of energy!

And what a shame!

It’s in our shared humanness that we find friendship and intimacy. So, come out of hiding share your genuine self- your best self and your bozo self.

You will be surprised how that opens the door for others to share their genuine self with you. And then we can all stop pretending that we are someone we are not.

When we realize that everyone- regardless of fame or fortune or age or brains or beauty- is also a bozo on the bus of life, a strange thing happens.

We cheer up.

We let go of our feelings of shame and isolation.

We become less judgemental and more forgiving.

It is wonderful to take your place on the bus with the other bozos. It may be the first step to enlightenment to understand with all your brain cells that we in this together.

Then you can sit back, and enjoy the ride.

ps/smoh

As with everything in nature, if your life isn’t supported by a grounded source of energy, it will wither and lose its vitality.

One of the most powerful decisions you can make is to be authentic. 

Simply put, this means that what you say, mean, intend, and do....agree with each other at all times. 

People who choose to to behave this way have a powerful healing vibration that commands respect and engenders trust, laying the foundation for success in any endeavour.

Making the decision to follow your vibes even when those around you advise the contrary, takes courage and deep commitment. 

It's not easy to tune in to your inner radar amid universal doubt, particularly when our vibes point you in an unpopular direction. 

Yet not trusting your sixth sense, will always- and I mean always- come back to haunt you. 

Have the courage to stand alone and trust your vibes.

Intuition is experience energetically. 

We won't necessarily hear a voice in your head but you will feel a vibration in your body. 

Much like an inner compass, check in with your body by doing something called a vibe check. 

Start by centring your attention at your feet and slowly scan your body paying attention to energy that might be pushing you or pulling you in any direction. 

Any time you zero in on an energy, however subtle, ask yourself out loud 

"what is this energy trying to tell me, warm me about, or encourage me to follow?" 

And answer out loud. 

This is how you give your intuition voice. 

Practice today and see what happens.

Deep truth and demanding to do yet so important!

We all have closed loops in our lives and people whom we have exiled to the outside of the circle. 

A good question to ask is, 
“Do I really need to keep that person on the outskirts any more? 
What would it take to give him or her a new title? 
Haven’t I stayed angry or shut down long enough?” 

Vengeance or protection or cold heartedness may have served a purpose in the past, but could forgiveness be a better balm now? 

If so, take a few small steps toward expansion. 

Push gently on the edges of your circle, and see if there is room within it for the exiled ones. 

And like the proverbial pebble thrown in the pool, as your circle widens it will ripple out and set a widening pattern in motion for the world.

ps/smoh

"Tell me the truth, we live by it, and you know what so good about the truth?  Everyone knows what it is, no matter how long they live without it. No one forget the truth" - PSMOH

Beautiful and meaningful...especially now, breathing gently

Bring your awareness to focus on something in your life that is changing or ending or dying right now. 

Breathe gently as you consider whatever transition is most significant right now in your life. 

Note; any feelings that arise—

trepidation, 

excitement, 

resistance, 

anger, 

annoyance, or 

grief. 

Every time your feelings get the better of you, become aware of your breathing. 

Meet your troubled and contracted feelings with your calm and expansive breath. 

Breathe, sigh, and stretch out on the river of change. 

Remember times when you have resisted change in the past. 

Regard how things turned out in the end—maybe not how you thought they would or you wanted them to, but in the end, there you were, Wiser, stronger, still alive. 

Tip your hat to the poignancy of death and the promise of rebirth. 

Smile. 

Relax.

Allow yourself to break open. 

Sit tall, with dignity and patience, watching your breath rise and fall, rise and fall. 

Pray for the courage to welcome this new change with openness and wisdom. 

Then open your eyes, go back into your life, and do what you have to do, but do it 

with grace, 

with hope, and 

with a lighter touch.

ps/smoh

A thought about compassion

Compassion is something that we intuitively recognize and admire in people. 

It is the quality that draws us towards a person, though we may mistake it for their joie-de-vivre, or their easy going nature. 

But, those qualities stem from compassion, from seeing everyone as an equal, from the perception that the universe is a loving place, and from the assumption that everyone has an intent to do and be inherently good.

Throughout history, and in humanity's meta-narrative, compassion has resonated with human beings. 

When we encounter a truly compassionate woman or man, we feel an enhanced state of being, an awareness and an increase in feelings of love.

What we are now experiencing is an exponential increase in the compassionate consciousness. 

Across diverse cultures, there is a spontaneous shift occurring.

In its essence that shift is towards compassion, and it is growing exponentially.

What is your part in the exponential evolution of humanity?

It is the illusion of the ego that leads us down the rabbit hole.

Greatness that doesn't benefit all of humankind is myopic.

ps/smoh

Do we really have a past....present and future?

Living the moment means choosing to be in a place of gratitude.

Whenever I find my mind drifting to the regret of yesterday or the worry about tomorrow, I gently bring my mind into the present moment.

As I have aged I have come to realize that simple gratitude is a source of fulfilment. I am now less focused on what I do not have.

I have learned that each day I wake up and choose to see life as a gift and to be fully present in that day.
I cannot control the outcome of the day, but I can control my reactions to it.

The person I am today; physically, mentally, socially has been 'partly' a result of my varied past life experiences.

We can't forget what we've been through in this life also factors into this.
This is why some people delve into their past lives in hopes of gathering some understanding of why and how they became what they are today.

Also, past life research can help you understand your weaknesses, problems, phobias, fears, etc. and even acknowledge your strengths and this can help us to become a better and more equipped person in this life and any future ones.

So healing can come from understanding your past lives.

Also, resolving old karma as well.

Is there an advantage to knowing about our past lives?

Are they of any use in our present? and

Do we really have a past....present and future?

Sometimes I think we are "Time Jumpers"!

ps/smoh

I do know one thing about me:
"I don't measure myself by others' expectations or let others define my worth."

Spending time with me will enlightening you so to say the least, in clinical terms I am a disaster but my selfless dysfunction is why it works.

Inside of every living thing is an inner drive, to completely and wondrously self-express. That is, to be what it is, totally.

It is clear to me that we all react in life challenges in different ways and I am no exception.

I recognize the pain and sometime I do what is necessary to alter, sometime I defy others expectation and occasionally I rise to meet them.

But the constant is to be true to ourselves.

I do what I had to when I have to.

I react for better or worst.

This is why I am successful...being me in my own way.

ps/smoh

Intelligence is like underwear. It's important that you have it but there's no need to show it off. ^__*

Messy

We can’t find our path without getting messy.

Messy comes with the territory.

We came in messy.

We learn messy.

We love messy.

We grow messy.

I never found my way to clarity without first befriending confusion, in all its chaotic forms.

I never found a path that felt like home before falling into quick-sand.

I never established a new way of being without trying the wrong way of being on for size.

I never found the light without stumbling around in the dark.

Not that all messiness is good messiness, but some of it is. In the heart of the chaos, is the clay that shapes us home.

Chaotic Magnificence!

We can't avoid messy or chaotic, however we can surrender in knowing even in those times we are loved.

It's been those very chaotic moments that have brought forth the most courageous lessons and teachers that forever change one’s life.

Chaos has shown me that courage and fear wear the same hat of the unknown.

What I do know, is I keep recalling something someone once said to me. "If you were all alone in world how would you know you are loved and supported?"

Trusting the beautiful mess.

I really believe that the people that have had the most chaos in their life are the wisest people.

Because through all the chaos, they learn that chaos is uncomfortable, and they learn how to live through it, and around it.

Instead of IN IT!!

ps/smoh

Best Friends Forever!

Best Friends is the person that holds your heart forever, be it your husband, your male or girl  friends, it means different things to different people.

Some do insist that you can have only one best friend, but I have a few, 5!  

The bonds that exist between the chosen few who are lucky enough to form this relationship know how special it is.

Whatever the precise definition, your best friend is the person who gets you. They understand who you are and what you are saying. 

The greatest distance cannot separate best friends. You will always feel a kinship with them, and be able to instantly continue the friendship even after not talking for many years.

We all have best friends, but do they always know how much you truly care about them? 

Just because they aren't always with you, doesn't mean they stop thinking about you, and vice versa. Don't ever forget to tell them how much they mean to you, whether near or far, true friendship is a bond that shall always remain.

You say, you're not loved and don't deserve it? 

When you're feeling like nobody cares just read this and knows that I'll always be there. You may be miles and miles away, but this is what you need to know, this is what I need to say, so when you’re feeling lonely, and blue, just lying in the dark, thinking that nobody cares for you, pull this paper out, and read this over, and over again, because you're  my Best Friend. 

Words could never tell you how important you'll always be.

Friends are forever, especially the bond that you and I possess. They say that true friendship is rare an adage that I believe to be true genuine friendship is something that I cherish. 

Our story will continue to grow with each passing day because I trust that with you by my side everything will always be Okay.

Life goes on, and people change, and through it all, our friendship shall remain the same. That's such as a life, and how things come to be. Just thought you should know, HOW MUCH YOU MEAN TO ME. The Miles between us can't keep us apart, because we will keep each other close at heart.

What can a friend do for me, and what must I do myself?

I can't give solutions to all of life's problems, doubts, or fears. But I can listen to you, and together we will search for answers.

I can't change your past with all its heartache and pain, or the future with its untold stories. But I can be there now when you need me to care.

I can't keep your feet from stumbling. I can only offer my hand that you may grasp it and not fall.

Your joys, triumphs, successes, and happiness are not mine; yet I can share in your laughter.

Your decisions in life are not mine to make, or to judge; I can only support you, encourage you,

and help you when you ask.

I can't prevent you from falling away from friendship, from your values, from me. I can only pray for you, talk to you and wait for you.

I can't give you boundaries which I have determined for you, but I can give you the room to change, room to grow, room to be yourself.

I can't keep your heart from breaking and hurting, but I can cry with you and help you pick up the pieces and put them back in place.

I can't tell you who you are. I can only love you and be your friend.

True love cannot be lost, because it does not exist apart from you. Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists. Love cannot be given, made or modified. You can only open to love and let it flow through you.
You are love!

One of the most seductive things in the world is when somebody looks at you with no judgement...

ps/smoh

Abandonment wound....

Even the simplest of rejections seem to ignite that abandonment wound!

Abandonment to me is simply the sweet way of life forcing us to focus more on our self to get through, by the absence of someone else.
If not, why are we always stronger after facing something alone?

I wonder if that wound ever heals completely.

Hmmm I do not believe that wound will ever heal completely. It just takes more to trigger it, and it doesn't last as long. 
Sometimes I think the scar remains to remind us with a wee twinge every once in awhile. If only to show us how far we've come.....but it may depend on how deep the wound goes, I do believe that many wounds can be seen all the way through to completion, but not every wound.

I remember in a deep meditation, my 'voice' said to me: When you are grounded in me, there is no abandonment!
Nice!
Didn't stop the tears, in case you were wondering!
But it did soothe.

The healing comes with holding ourselves and every aspect of the wound in compassion. When the memory becomes swaddled in love it no longer hurts.
Then we can see it as a lesson our soul came here to learn rather than a trauma we hold in our hearts.

Ironically, the person who is abandoned somehow could not or would not acknowledge it even it looks obvious to others.
Only with this awareness we’ll be able to CHOOSE a healthier way to respond to the wound, let go of the wrong connection.

When I was younger, my abandonment wound was so deep that it compelled me to hang on to connections that no longer served me.

If someone close to me looked away, I fused.

But that is no longer true.

Now I let go of the connection. The wound is never fully healed, but it has come a long way.

Some monsters get smaller and smaller over time, until they can barely impact on our daily lives.

Graduating from the school of heart knocks, one little test at a time......

I feel our wounds might not be fully healed but they become a source of deep creativity and transformation, a voice our being finds in its scars that can turn anything into gold and light.

ps/smoh

The seam between world's is often thin and the creative visionaries are our truest guides though the maze of our human journey and dilemma!

When we look at the lives of great creative souls - we find that they feel themselves to be hooked up to, guided, incarnated by or allied by a power that is beyond or deep within themselves.

This power is felt as an inner spirit, a vision, an inward voice,an invisible life's companion, and can be formidable motivation for a quest for truth. There is a mystery here that verges on the paranormal, and shakes hands with the infinite.

The people of the break through, the ones who change our perception of reality because of the power of their own unique perceptions differ from most of us, I believe, largely in degree not in kind.

We all have something of the same capacities that they have but theirs is taken to a degree of development that most of us consider more mythic than real.

We all have capacities for vision, 
for motivation, 
for absorption, 
for courage, 
for facing constant defeat, 
for stick-to-it-ness, but most of the time we have it with one of these qualities singularly, rarely together. 

With the highly creative person as with the social artist, 
it is their degree of vision joined to talent joined to motivation, 

joined to absorption in the quest, 
joined to formidable courage in the midst of the bleakest and most disempowering circumstance, 
joined to a leaping at opportunity when it comes by,

a sense of their own kairos and a willingness to go the distance with it--this is what makes for brilliance, 
for radical creativity, 
for formidable social artistry and yes, 
even, sometimes, for genius. 

It also means that they and you move out of mere humanity and into myth.

Genius is tied up with genesis, with generation, with creation in it's finest form. Genius may even mimic Creation, may be the micro lens of the Creator entering into human experience for a while.

It is never solitary, cut off, or insular though it may appear to others to be just that. It is resonant with stores of
information felt as personal. 
It is love in its most emphatic aspect, passion in its most blatant form. 

Above all it is the dissolution of the membranes of the local self and absorption, communion, identity even with Reality itself. 
It is this capacity for communion that is the greatest of all hidden talents, the ability to be changed by the process of deep perception, contemplation into the nature of things.

Cell Your Soul....

Bringing our soul lessons through takes more than awareness. 

It is an active process that demands a courageous willingness to live our experiences right through to completion. 

This means staying with our feelings until they are truly done with us, no matter how uncomfortable it is. Although we may not see it at first, there is a method to our sadness. 

Often times we distract ourselves out of the learning, particularly when the feelings are painful. We all know people like this. We have all been people like this. 
We choose not to get the hint. We ignore our grumbles and truth aches at all costs. 

If we don’t break this habit, we just come back the next time with the same lessons waiting in the wings.

The body is far more than just a vessel for the soul. 

It is the field where the soul’s lessons are harvested. It is the breeding ground for the soul’s emergence. In order to grow forward, we must bring our suffering through our emotional body until our spiritual lesson is birthed. 

We must cell our soul.

The recipe is simple. 
Be authentic and true to your felt experience.
Feel the heartbreak. 
Feel the anger. 
Feel all of your feelings. 

If you had a cruel mother, or father or brother....move your anger and feel into the heartbreak below. 
If you lose a loved one, go through all the stages of grieving. 

Don’t stop halfway. 
Never stop halfway. 
Let the feelings tell you if the fire was destructive or benevolent. 
Some fires are creating the way for new life.

Be careful not to go into your head. 

There is a meaningful difference between a cerebral interpretation of an experience 
“I know why this came into my life” 
and an embodied awareness of it 
“I feel why this came into my life”. 

Unless your knowing arises from your felt experience, it is meaningless. 

Stay with the emotional process until your soul food is digested. 

It will be difficult at times, but the feelings will only hurt until they convert. 
Repressed emotions are unactualized spiritual lessons. 

Once they make is all the way through the conversion tunnel, the lesson will be revealed. 

Divine Perspiration!

Free free free
It came to freeze freeze freeze
So hear what frees frees frees
It's to be true true true
With what comes through through through
Right through !

ps/smoh

Ignore everything that doesn’t serve the honouring of your purpose.

I feel, in many ways, that our greatest individual challenge is to close the gap between our unflattering self-concepts and the truth of our magnificence. 

To see ourselves through the eyes of those who love us, perhaps this is what we can offer- to hold a reflection of our divinity up for each other until we are ready to recognize it as our own.

We are powerful beyond measure and so deeply vulnerable at the same time. This may seem like a dichotomy, but it isn’t. 

We have misunderstood real power. It has been something assertive, non-surrendering, pushing on through. This is not real power. 

This is simply wilfulness.

Real power is something else- receptivity, openness, the courage to keep your heart open on the darkest of days, the strength to feel it all even when the odds are stacked against you.

Real power is showing up with your heart on your sleeve and absolutely refusing to waste one moment of your life hidden behind edginess and armour, the art of enheartened presence. 

Now that’s power.

This life is a hero's journey. 

Anyone who sticks it out and gives it their best shot is heroic, in my estimation. What we call normal is so often extraordinary. 

Just overcoming the weight of the world and making a genuine effort to identify and honour our true-path is profound.

For some, the way to sacred balance is to find the sky. For others, it is to ground on earth. Once all is said and done, we meet each other everywhere.

Kudos to anyone who is making a genuine effort to get through this life with originality, awareness and authenticity.

So it is.

ps/smoh

The Gift of Myself

I am not worth much
in the monetary sense
my bankbook needs
an iron pill...
and when I die
my body will be
worth $4.50
$3.50 for the skin
and a buck for all else
some sobering facts
right there, my friend

so how do I have the nerve
to see myself as gift?

well, I am gift
as you are gift
what defines us
cannot be measured
in monetary or any other terms

only that...
when I look into your eyes
I gaze into the face of God

only that...
hearing your voice
ignites my very soul

only that....
my gift and yours
emanate from the same Giver...

only that...

ps/smoh

Life is like a bubble that may vanish at any time.

I usually come through when my back is against the wall, but just in case I fail to make it through in my attempt to save the world, you can still read my thoughts here.

If I fail completely in my mission to save the world, I will continue to share my thoughts with you on the other side. ;)

Don't take your life for granted, you don't know how much time you have left to live on this wonderful planet. Even if you live to be 100, life still goes by faster than you can imagine.

Live life with a sense of urgency to experience as much as you can and help as many people as you can.

When you live life with a sense of urgency, you won't waste even a hour of your precious time.

Everything you do will have meaning, even if it is simply relaxing and recharging.

People who live this way are people who not only achieve their goals, but enjoy life to the fullest.

ps/smoh

Trust the instinct to the end though you can render no reason.

Always trust the still, small voice inside, no matter what. 

This voice is how God communicates with you, and it will not steer you wrong, but you do have to LEARN how to listen to it and trust it. 

It doesn't just happen.

You must learn to quieten external stimuli and your own mind, in order to listen to your intuition or instinct. 

This voice will not shout at you; you have to make the effort to listen to it. 

And once you have actually listened, then you have to trust it enough to act on what this voice tells you, even if it goes against reason.

This is where is starts to get hard. 

It takes effort. 

It takes trust. 

And it takes faith. 

Start by acting on small, everyday things that your intuition is telling you. 

Practice listening. 

Then you will be ready when it comes to the important things.

Listen to your thoughts and be true to your heart!

ps/smoh

Don't wait for perfection. LIVE NOW!

So many people have the attitude that they have to wait until conditions are right before they can start to live as they want or do the things in their lives that they want to do. 

This is wrong thinking as conditions very rarely reach perfection. There will always be some reason to wait until later, but don't swallow this hook.

This type of thinking equates to procrastination, and wastes the precious days of your life. Now is the time to live. Now is the time to do the things that you want to do in your life. 
There will always be reasons to put off doing the things that your heart desires, but those reasons are merely deceptive thieves. 
Live your life like you would if you knew you only had one year to live. Just do it, and you will find that things fall into place one way or another.

Don't let your yesterday use up too much of your tomorrow. Cherokee Proverb

Yesterday is gone. Whatever you did yesterday cannot be undone. The words you spoke cannot be unspoken. The actions you took cannot be reversed.

The best you can do is speak better, more thoughtful words today, and take action to make things right at this present moment.

Worrying and beating yourself up over what you did or said yesterday is simply a waste of time and energy. It accomplishes nothing positive. 

Realize this and move on with your life, determined to make today better than yesterday.

ps/smoh

You are free to decide as you will, but not free of the consequences of your decisions...

Everyone is free to make his or her own decisions in life, but it must be remembered that every single decision carries with it one or more consequences. 
While you are free to decide how you will live your life, whether to obey the law or break the law, whether to live with honour and character, or live without regard to these things, every one of your actions have consequences.

This is why you should carefully consider each action BEFORE you act. 

Actions, just like words, cannot be undone once they have been performed. Oh, you can work to correct certain consequences of your actions, but the original action cannot be undone. 

The past cannot be changed.

The wise person will always consider the consequences of his actions BEFORE he acts. After the action has been performed, it is too late. 
The consequences will follow. Start taking life a little more seriously. 

Start acting as if your actions carry meaning, because in the grand scheme of things, they do.

Too many people choose to forget or ignore the "c" word (consequences). Those same people also usually choose to forget or ignore the "r" word, "responsibility".

Your life is your message. Gandhi

Do you walk your walk or merely talk the talk? 

Knowing what to do and how to live is one thing, applying what you know to your life is something completely different.

You must apply wisdom for it to be of any use in your life. People will pay more attention to what you do than what you say. 
In the end, your life is your message; how you live is what people will remember. 

Make sure you are walking the walk, and not simply talking the talk.

ps/smoh