How many great books, 

works of art, 

magnificent creations,

 have never been humanifest 

because of the power of fear, 

because we have hidden our voice under a bushel of doubt and shame?

I need to give my brain drips a home

I invite you to imagine yourself at your highest, fullest, and deepest this week...

What lives inside of you that are longing to be expressed?

What chaotic magnificence lives in your soul-bones?

What path is calling out to you from below your daily habits and adaptations?

Where does your deepest, truest self want you to walk next?

ps/smoh

Run toward joy & fun - it's self-sabotage not to

I got stuck last night in an old pattern again. Even though I have been consciously driving myself toward new ways of relating, sometimes I forget my new navigation system and fall prey to habit.

This time was a little different. I had the awareness, as it was happening, that an opportunity was being presented to me.
An opportunity to bypass my knee-jerk reaction and change, right then and there, in the present moment. To operate from a place of doing what my heart wanted versus doing only what made the most practical sense.

It was a little messy as I felt the struggle – internal and external – of feeling pulled each way. But my whole gig right now is about getting free.
And I am learning that, for me, it’s actually self-sabotage not to run toward joy and fun.

I know my capacity and what I’m capable of. I don’t ever need to run toward responsibility since that's ingrained in me, no matter what.
But I can’t keep mourning my unlived life if I don’t jump at the chance for adventure when it’s desired and totally doable.
Last night I saw the inner workings of this play out in a new way.

The next time “an opportunity” presents itself, I will remember to access my joy and dive in – without second guessing myself first.

ps/smoh

Is pain necessary???

Necessary for who? For what? 

But at the same time, pain happens, and we cannot deny that. 
And the whole seeking mechanism at its core is about trying to escape the pain of living - the uncertainty, the discomfort, the longing. 

And this failed attempt to escape pain is known as suffering. And it is suffering - the experience of separation, the pushing away of life, the forgetting of who we are - that perhaps leads us to begin to deeply question who we are, as the Buddha taught. 

Everybody suffers in their own way.

 There is no "right" way to suffer. And there is no level of suffering that is "required". But nobody has ever escaped suffering either.

 Was suffering necessary for you? Yes and no. 

No, of course not, since nothing is necessary for life to be as it is right now. Even the appearance of suffering is life too, from that "ultimate" perspective. 
In my own experience, years ago, on the ultimate level that too was perfection, that too was life, though that was not seen at the time!! 
On the other hand - and I can only speak from experience - it was that very deep suffering, and the attempt to find some freedom from suffering, and the longing for deep rest, that pointed to the discovery of who I am, and who I always was - to that which never changes. 
If I hadn't suffered, would I have been interested in the end of suffering? Can we really say? 

So on one hand, suffering was not necessary. 
What I am cannot change and has never changed - and no suffering or absence of it changes that. 
On the other hand, if it wasn't for suffering, we would possibly never deeply begin to question our core beliefs. 
Suffering can always draws us to the fundamental question "Who Am I"? "Who is suffering?", and so on.....

It's another division, to separate "nonduality" from something called "duality", and favour one of them over the other! 
Or to preach that "nonduality" is more "real" than "duality", or that "duality" can be dissolved and there can be only "nonduality". 
More illusion! Part of the infinite dream...... 
There is no division in life itself prior to thought, and so then we cannot even speak of "nonduality" as divided from "duality". 
As I have always said "nonduality" is another illusion. It is the most dualistic thing to try to "dissolve duality"....

There is no "divine engineering", there is nobody in control, no benevolent or evil force at work, planning our lives, punishing us, trying to wake us up, and it helps not to take this poetry too literally. It speaks to the heart, the gut, not the head...... 

Is suffering necessary? Yes and no. 

Depends from which perspective you want to answer that question. This is not a crushing of our humanity, but a total honouring of it, the sacredness of it, and a waking up from those outdated myths of sin, punishment and so on. 

We are innocent at our very core. 
Life itself cannot be 'brutal, even if it SEEMS that way sometimes, and this poetry honours both the seeming, and the realisation that it is not at all what it seems. 

Not everyone resonates with this kind of expression. We all hear different music. I do understand....

ps/smoh

The simple awareness of this vs. that requires splitting. What a trap!

It took years to realize I could acknowledge that a wrongdoer was doing their best, given their own context, AND that I had every right to move the anger I was holding from their actions.

I thought that because I knew where they were coming from, it was not okay to acknowledge their impact. But it’s about holding both awareness’s at once. Maybe they were doing their best, but we still have to work through the effects.

There's that frustration that their best is not so great and our resistant to that notion, in other words, we wish it were better and we want it to be better but we are really just resisting what is at the moment causes us to react in frustration and sometimes anger, to hold both awareness’s at once.

We suffer so much when we negate our own experience, when by focusing on the compassionate awareness of the Other's context and accept them as they are we fail to accept our own. No more. 

That's true non-duality and wholeness. Enough splitting because everything indicates that the defence of splitting arises very early on.

So much of what people call non-duality excludes uncomfortable but necessary processes from the equation and actually creates splitting or perpetuate it.

Splitting is one of our most early defences the mind uses and it was well understood. 

Splitting at its extreme shatters the mind of the psychotic patient into pieces. It has its place of course as a defence against unbearable affect but...we see it in bioenergetics/body psyche, the head pulling up and away from the body as an early defence, but splitting can so easily happen later as well, in so many forms. I sometimes think the only way we can manage this reality, at this stage of human development, is with some form of splitting.

It's bound to happen. Got to survive. 

An infant has no way to know, for instance, that Love is indestructible. So it splits its hatred from its love. But in doing so, it also splits away its true Strength. 

"The defence of splitting entails splitting away one's Power, because it is associated with the all-bad self-representation, and projecting it outside. The result is identification with a self-representation that is all-good but powerless."

I don't see how we can survive at this stage of our human evolution without splitting. All we are left with is to integrate and integrate as far as we can go.

Some more detailing on splitting - let's learn and activate more of that Brilliancy. . .

"At the beginning, in childhood, there is a relationship between the child and the mother, the parents, the environment. 

When the relationship is difficult or painful, the child deals with it by splitting the difficult from the easy, the love from the hatred. 

But to do that, you have to do it with your mind, because it is not real. You have to split your perception. You have to split your mind. 

You have to believe something that is not there. That is the beginning of mental structure. You have to split the reality into this and that, split mother into good mother and bad mother. Well, your mother is never all good or all bad. 

She is a mixture. So if you split her into good mother and bad mother, and you have to remember this and that, you are creating something in your mind that is not really there. In time, that becomes the mental relationship that you re-enact in your life relationships. 

So there is the idealized mother, there is a frustrating mother, and there is the attacking mother. And your relationships with those three parts are what become re-enacted in your life as mental relationships."

This and that. At some point, we can be taken to have a look at all the ways we split reality into two. Or mind does it in so many ways – it’s quite amazing to recognize that.

I do believe though, in service of a more positive view of splitting, that splitting or polarizing is a perfect reflection of where we still are. 

That is, we have work to do in those divisions and polarities before we can actually have a sustainable experience of unity. 

We see the appeal of pseudo non-dual teachers who are handing us a glimpse of a non-dual state, or something akin to it maybe. 

But we also see the peril in that, because in order to hold to that, they have to feign resolution on the polarized planes of consciousness.

To actually end the splitting means to fully welcome all the split-off parts of ourselves. Splitting is splitting-off something. 

And yes, pseudo non-dual teachers abound. I see more integrated humanity in psycho-therapists than most of them. Thank Goodness, slowly but surely, a "metapsychology" - as one had it - is emerging, with teachers that embody the fullness of The Story, not just bits and pieces of it. Oh and not that The Story has an end-point. An end. . . It's always "and...

The wisdom of all the polarities blended into a drink called enrealment. 

It’s all there, even the kitchen sink. 

The funny thing is that they were never two, those two. 

We just made that up. 

Reality is innocent of all our wiseacrings.

ps/smoh

You are Sacred Purpose....

You are not your shame, your fears, your addictions, your games, your guilt, and the internalized remnants of negative messaging… 

You are not your resistance to your true path … 

You are not your self-doubt… 

You are not your self-distraction patterns. 

You are not your escape hatches… 

You are not your pessimism about a life of meaning and purpose. 

You are not here merely to survive and endure.

No matter what others have mistakenly told you about who you are, no matter what mistakes you may have made in the past, you are here with a sacred purpose living at the core of your being. 

If that were not true you never would have made it down the birth canal. 

You never would have overcome what you have already overcome in your life.

Whatever your ways of distracting, postponing, delaying, armouring, avoiding, altering, feigning, artificial zing, externalizing, superficial zing your life… I encourage you to STOP IT NOW. 

This really is no game, this is completely real, and this sacred purpose that courses through your soul veins crying out to be heard from below the surface of our avoidance. 

I cannot say this with enough assertiveness… To the extent that you identify and honour your true path in this lifetime, you will know genuine satisfaction, real peace in your skin... 

You will be infused with vitality and a clarified focus; new pathways of possibility appear where before there were obstacles. 

You will know a peace that will buffer you against the madness of the world, clarity of direction that will carry you from one satisfaction to another… 

Life will still have its challenges, but you will interface with them differently, coated in an authenticity of purpose that sees through the veils to what really matters. 

To the extent, that you avoid the quest for purpose, you will live frustrated, a half-life... your avoidance manifest in all manner of illness, perpetual dissatisfaction, emotional problems, depression, addictive patterns, ALL REFLECTIONS OF YOUR own alienation from the purposeful root of your being.. 

You see, there really are no escape from reality, all there is, and are postponement. You should be more afraid of avoiding your path than walking it.

AND it doesn’t matter what anyone tells you about who you are. There is so much of that. This is your journey. Even those with the best of intentions, cannot know the path you are here to walk. 

The REAL journey is not one of adapting ourselves to someone else’s vision, but instead, shaping who we are with our own two hands. 

The unique clay we work with lives deep inside our soul bones, awaiting our own detection & expression.

You are the sculptor of your own reality- don’t hand your tools to anyone else. Only you can know the path u r here to walk... it’s a personal decision, and it doesn’t have to be grandiose. 

Your purpose can be as simple as learning how to listen better, how to enjoy the moment without getting in your own way... wherever the growing is, wherever you find genuine peace with path, wherever you feel unmasked and genuinely real.. 

In the survivalist world that we are coming from, we defined ourselves by what GOT US through the day, whatever masks got food on the table, 

whatever way of being endured this challenging life... 

but we are at the beginning of a new way, a way of being that is sourced in who we REALLY ARE, 

not our egoic face, 

not our survivalist face, 

not the false face of our hidden power, 

but the real face, 

the real path, the no bullshit no hype no pretence expression of WHO u REALLY ARE and a life that fully and deeply expresses the magnificence that lives within you.. 

Your sacred purpose may be covered in dust, it may be HIDDEN FROM VIEW, but it’s still in there, sparkling with infinite possibility...

This is a call to action. 

A call to authenticity. 

A call to dig yourself out from below the bushel of shame and self-doubt that has plagued humanity. 

A call to get off the dime and do the real work to call yourself on your distraction patterns and excavate your own purpose in this lifetime. 

What are you here to learn? 

What are you here to overcome? 

What are you here to express? 

What does your authentic face look like? 

Who are you, above and beyond all the noise and haste... this is not about money, 

or bullshit ideas of abundance, 

or gratifying your ego, 

this is about the real thing, the real deal, and the vulnerable and courageous truth about whom you are and why you are here. 

I ENCOURAGE you to take the question of sacred purpose seriously… to not postpone it for another hour, or week, or till you retire, until the next lifetime, till you finish school, or send your relationship, but to take it seriously now… 

To work like a dog to find out what lives inside of you, 

what you are here to express, 

what you are here to manifest and express, 

what you are here to give, to share, to learn, to create, to dance, to art, to walk…. 

You don’t know how long you have, it may be 60 years, it may be 60 seconds, 

you may not make it to retirement, 

you may not make it to tomorrow morning.

At least if you are questing for your purpose, living your truth, 

you will not suffer when it’s time to leave your body in this lifetime, 

you will be living in your authenticity, this is no small achievement in this distracted world, where the unconscious media and manipulative marketers try to turn us generic and frightened. 

So we will be locked into their script., fuck that. You are already have a script and it lives deep inside you…that script is your purpose, 

what you are here to express, 

to learn, 

to embody, 

to human fest… 

So you decide which script to read- the fictional novel written by those who do not SEE you, or the HOLY BOOK written by your glorious spirit. 

When you walk through the gateway of purpose, you walk into yourself. You are sacred purpose, you are sacred purpose, and you are sacred purpose. 

Don’t stop until you find it.

You are Sacred Purpose.

You are Sacred Purpose.

You are Sacred Purpose.

You are Sacred Purpose.

Wake up!!

It's a sad reality that some cultures are obsessed with the comfort zone of constantly being ill, The addiction to always want to visit doctors frequently as though something was wrong if they didn't.

It's a social epidemic how some individuals enjoy competing whose illness is more mysterious and how they have been to every possible doctor and done every test under the sun and now are disappointed they didn't find anything positive, i.e. - a definite diagnosed! 
It's a cancerous myth that we are doomed to chronic diseases when middle age sets in.

Imo, this is the principle causes of accelerating aging (as I have seen blatantly in South Asian women in particular). 
By the time they reach their late 30's they've already retired from youthfulness and begin to say- "We aren’t getting any younger."

Well, nobody is getting any younger since the day we were BORN! But we have the power and RESPONSIBILITY to choose the QUALITY of our lives. 
Beginning with our diets to the level of exercise we commit to our physical temples, and most importantly - a holistic mentality via breathing from a place of Peace and Love. 

Please, for the sake of your own well-Being, Let go of being attached to the victim role and embrace the True Self you were meant to Be - Powerful beyond any social conditioning.

ps/smoh

Although there may be a destiny point pre - ordained, we have free will - there are many different routes to that destiny - one may linger and put off that destiny, one may hasten it, getting there sooner or it may be possible to make a whole new, destiny.

This sounds EXACTLY like what Einstein described about time - the past, present, and future exist at once.

There are many different roads in between leaving and getting there - the analogy he gave, was riding in a carriage.

The leaving point still exists, the destiny point exists, the passenger is in between - the window allows us to view PART of the "time", the bigger the window, the more of time we see.

The carriage is the present. Although we are headed to our destiny on a well taken route - a flood, or, perhaps a tree, blocks it off, now; a different route must be taking.

That is how I see pre - destiny - NOT set in stone. I believe in Karma, and, reincarnation - perhaps a route we did not take in the present, was taken in a previous life, or, in the next.

We have all heard of people about to take a certain flight, BUT, a strange premonition cancelled it for them, only to have all the passengers on that flight, killed in a crash.

Had that person gone as scheduled, another death would have been added - was destiny changed - POSSIBLY???

ps/smoh