When it comes to gossip... "If the gossip with you, they'll gossip about you" Exactly!

Gossip only tears someone down when we are supposed to be building them up.

Two things that I have found to be true about gossip:

1.) If they'll gossip WITH you, they'll gossip ABOUT you. Healthy friendship requires #trust, and it's hard to trust a gossiper.

2.) Malicious gossip doesn't always speak to the subject's true character, but passing it on speaks to yours.

A lot have suffered dearly for the rumours and gossip of others and can tell you the only way is to forgive them.

Many moons again I had a friend who told me something she shouldn’t have, I took her at face value and stopped talking to the other person.  Over the years, she would say, I have to tell you something but don’t repeat it. 

I’d always think it was about her but it would be about that friend or others.  Finally 5 years later I found out from her that I completely misunderstood what she had the first time which made me stop talking to the friend. 

I was livid and vowed never to be involved in gossip again. It took me years to find that person but I did, apologized and picked up where we left off.

You can tell me any story you want but your story ends with me and I'll be damned if I share any story but my own with you.  Hard lesson ever to learn but at least I was able to make amends. I have always kept this lesson with me, and it is life changing.

Keeping in mind...there is a difference between gossip and speaking the truth.

I have always looked at how people treat others, both in and outside the others presence just to keep my distance. 

Works reliably well for identifying and avoiding negative people.

“Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.”

Remember this even when you are standing up for yourself or giving stern advice, you can do it in a constructive manner. 

We as humans evolved to gossip. 

We use gossip as a tool for social bonding with one another, to create stronger bonds, consequently for survival and psychological well-being. I do believe though that there is good gossip and bad gossip. 

Some people just go too far when talking negatively about someone else for example. It can get uncomfortable and makes one wonder if they say the same thing about you.

We have two eyes, two ears but one mouth. I believe we should think twice before we speak.

Beware of the one that always got something to say...

Gossip has fucked a lot of friendships up. Once one does it, the others feel the need to chip in until they've all convinced themselves the person they are gossiping about is a bad person.  

Women especially need to empower themselves not to do this. 

Gossipers never asked, they accused, abused, humiliate, all who involved has no Principle and when you react to their actions, you are the Bitch.

"Small minds discuss people. Medium minds discuss events. Great minds discuss ideas." Just as true today as it was when Eleanor Roosevelt first made this observation.

PS

And if you want to spread lies be sure it is believable.....it is you who have no brain but other have and they used it.

love light and peace

ps/smoh

You have GREATNESS within you!

"Use your voice as a hammer to stamp out toxic, dis empowering, negative thoughts that can come into your mind. 

You cannot control the thoughts that come through your mind, but you can control the ones you choose to dwell on. 

Talk back to yourself and challenge the negative thinking that is robbing you of energy and focus. Use your voice as an instrument to inspire you and to change the trauma into positive feelings.

Look at yourself in a mirror and say 

"I love myself unconditionally." 

Do this daily for the next 21 days. 

You will experience a new love and appreciation for your higher self which will begin to express itself. Your mind and ego will tell you that this is foolish, childish, or that you do not need to do this. 

Do not be duped. Negative thoughts don't want to die and will struggle to remain alive. 

Speak life to yourself with power, feeling and conviction. 

Choose positive words that will transport your mind to a new reality. 

You Deserve!"

love light and peace

ps/smoh

We are meaning makers....

( •_•)
\( (>
/ \
Knowing this and having the courage to make and own one's meanings is where it hits the existential road.
Courage to own a meaning, to take existential responsibility and live your life accordingly. 
Stability is silence. 

It just doesn't move. It is silence that I am and not all the passing thoughts, feelings and sensations. I lived with a mind that was intensely suffering itself over its own meanings. 

Now I don't suffer like that, I don't feel drug around by whatever is going on in my mind and body. For me, meaning was a big sticky point that came clean once I stopped believing in myself as a mind and remembered myself as presence, a being, quite a naturally conscious being that never needed all that meaning to be OK.
We all are searching for a path to freedom, peace and happiness. The path begins where you are.
The first step is inward. May you find freedom, peace and happiness...your own true nature, the privilege of a lifetime is being who you are. 
As a species we should never underestimate our low tolerance for discomfort. 
To be encouraged to stay with our vulnerability is news that we can use.
God help us to live slowly
To move simply
To look softly
To allow emptiness
To let the heart create for us
So it is.

Sleep is so healing therefore I am going to heal my soul early tonight....

Nanite ^__^

love light and peace

ps/smoh

LOVE IS YOURS

To love, to keep your heart open in spite of 'outer' circumstances, to shine the light of your love, to illuminate rather than seeking to be illuminated, constantly waiting for others to shine on you; that is the greatest joy, greater than all the riches of the world.
To offer love-light freely, to stay close to your own heart, so it no longer needs protecting, or defending, just nurturing, closeness, connection, attention.

To always listen to the heart. And even if you have to walk away, even if you have to give a clear 'no', to never walk away from your own heart, never stop your shining because of 'others'. 
There are no 'others' for the ancient heart, only hearts, only self-shining Suns, the same light, and the apparent closing of 'other' hearts need never be an excuse to stop shining.

Love asks but never demands, appreciates but never needs, cherishes but does not cling.

When expectations drop from love, we cannot be disappointed, for in the heart there is space even for shattered expectations. 
We shine not to get anything, or to control anyone, but to feel ourselves shine, feel the warmth and closeness of our own love, self-generated, beaming on others who are not others at all; the greatest bliss.

Love is yours!

love light and peace
ps/smoh

Broken Open...

Here’s what happens when I read or watch or listen to the news these days: 

First I get depressed at the ways in which humanity reverts to the cycle of blame and retaliation and violence over and over and over again. 

Then my blood quickens and I get enraged. 

Then I calm myself down, remember that depression and rage won’t help heal the sorrows of the world, and then I look within and vow to interrupt the cycle of blame and retaliation in my own behaviour. 

I vow to replace depression with hopefulness, and rage with love.

What I’m beginning to understand is how much easier it is to think about these kinds of things, or to read about them, or tell other people about them, than it is to actually do them. 

It’s remarkable how a bunch of theoretical thinkers messed turned words into a complicated theory and calls them ‘religion’ with rules and punishments and things to memorize and get dressed up for.

We humans have to go through all sorts of convoluted manoeuvres to metabolize the most basic wisdom. 

And even though it may seem we are the most obstinate species ever created, we do learn; we can change. If we so choose, we can get better at being love.

Today I vow to BE love, and even though I break the vow over and over, I keep coming back to it.

When I awake, I vow to be love with my husband. I vow to be love even though he hasn’t shaved, even though I’ve heard the story he tells at breakfast many times before. Instead of being impatient, I turn to my husband and offer my whole self to him no resistance, no irritation, just love. It’s as if the sun breaks through a cloud, bathing us in its healing warmth and magnanimous spirit.

I vow to be love with every being I meet. The best I can do is pay attention if I’m antsy or annoyed and what you know as the day goes on, being love gets easier and easier, as my acceptance muscles get stronger than my attacking ones. 

As I grew wiser with age I realized it was not ideas that changed the world, but simple gestures of love given to the people around you, and sometimes to those you feel most at odds with. 

So in order to save the world, we must serve the people in our life. 

You gradually struggle less and less for an idea, and more and more for specific people. In the end, it is the reality of personal relationship that saves everything.

We are powerful beyond measure and so deeply vulnerable at the same time. This may seem like a dichotomy, but it isn't. We have misunderstood real power. It has been something assertive, non-surrendering, pushing on through. 

This is not real power. 

This is simply wilfulness. 

Real power is something else - receptivity, open-ness, and the courage to keep your heart open on the darkest of days, the strength to feel it all even when the odds are stacked against you. 

Real power is showing up with your heart on your sleeve and absolutely refusing to waste one moment of your life hidden behind edginess and armour. 

The art of enheartened presence. Now that's power.

love light and peace

ps/smoh

 I write in order to uncover some sort of durable meaning to this life we are all stumbling through, and also to blow on the embers of hope and faith.  

I do this for myself my fellow seekers, for my soul tribe, for my beloveds known and unknown. 

When this actually works, I feel grateful, humbled, and happy. 

love light and peace

ps/smoh

WHAT THEY TAUGHT YOU...

They taught you 

that you were small.
They told you 
that you were incomplete, limited.
That there was something missing.
Some deficiency. Something 'wrong' with you.
They believed in 'right' and 'wrong'.
That you were 'less than'.
And others were 'more than'.

They sold you a lie.
They fed you a nightmare.
That love was conditional.
That you had to work for it.
Earn it. Be 'good enough' for it.
That the source of your self-worth
existed outside of you.
And was outside of your control.
And was dependent upon
doing better.
Being faster. Smarter. Louder. Quieter.
Being taller, prettier, more accomplished.
Achieving better grades.
Climbing high. Descending when told.
Making more. Having more.
Money. Certificates. Titles.
Praise. Applause.
Building a better image.
Constructing a better me.
A better version.
An upgrade.

IT WAS A LIE!

You were loveable exactly as you were.
In your original form.

From the beginning, you were whole.
And complete.
And worthy.
Worthy of love.
Worthy of good quality attention.
Worthy of empathy.
Worthy of safety.
Worthy of dignity, respect.

Your feelings mattered,
even the uncomfortable ones.
Your body is beautiful,
even with its imperfections.
Your voice was sacred,
even when they didn't agree.
Your success mattered,
but your failures were also pure.
Your world mattered.
Your being mattered.
Your in-breath mattered.
Your out-breath too.

They taught you that you were small.
They told you that you were incomplete, limited.
That there was something missing.
Some deficiency. Something wrong with you.
That you were 'less than'.
And others were 'more than'.

They were mistaken, always.

Yet forgive them,
they knew not what they were doing;
for they were taught the same.

Ending this cycle with my son. 

Children...

They know they are sacred. 
They have their voice for better or worse wink emoticon. 
They are never sent away in shame. 
Their tears and anger are respected, held. 

So grateful to have come to this growth early enough in my life to be there in this way for my child. 

A masterpiece of the masterwork of Life - LOVE

A powerful affirmation that we are all one and the same, no matter our age, deserving of the same unconditional love, respect and acceptance.

love light and peace

ps/smoh

You are beautiful, without changing a thing; beauty is not earned...

Look at yourself in the mirror and at first perhaps you will feel disgust and shame because that's what you were taught to feel. 

But allow yourself to feel disgust and shame, and know they are not 'you', only feelings moving. And let thoughts appear in the mind like 'ugly' and 'fat' and 'bad' and 'broken' and know that they are just words, and familiar, and old. 

Let the mind chatter away and feel your feelings too. You have to love yourself by also loving the part that doesn't love yet, or trust yet. 

Allowing all of you to be reflected now.

Begin to see yourself through the eyes of a loving mother who sees you as precious even if you have pimples or deformities or rashes or birthmarks, even if you have half a face or missing limbs. 

You have to see yourself through these bigger eyes, eyes of pure loving attention, eyes that do not judge but allow judgements too. Your eyes have been too small up until now. 

You were taught by people who hated themselves and you got infected. Until you looked at yourself today.

And the medicine now is naked, choiceless attention; being as spacious as the mirror itself, making room for thoughts and feelings but not mistaking them for the truth. 

Your beauty lies in your willingness to feel, and see beyond the labels. Hold the totality of the image the way the mirror holds it; not resisting, not hiding, not shaming, not trying to adapt yourself to some second-hand idea of beauty or perfection. 

Your imperfections are so perfect in this light; your wrinkles and blotches a work of divine art, fascinating and real, and so human.

See. And in the seeing, allow yourself to be seen.

No matter how the body looks on the outside, we are all Beautiful, especially our True Being which is Perfect. 

Dedicated to  'Imah'

love light and peace

ps/smoh

As I search for a piece of kindness And I find Hitler in my heart From the corpses flowers grow.....

"FAITH: YOUR FIRST STEP

Expect to be knocked down. Expect to find yourself on your knees, sometimes. 

Life is not only the ups, it is the downs too. Like the breath, there is the falling and there is also the rising. Like the ocean tides, like the heart that pounds moment by moment in your chest, there is expansion and contraction too, swelling and descent, and one is not 'better' than the other, one is not more 'alive'. 

Both are essential for existence.

Finding yourself on your knees, close to the ground, know that faith is not the fearful holding of the in-breath, nor necessarily the belief in a better tomorrow, but the deep trust in today, finding the sacredness in the out-breath, the contraction, the fall; knowing the drop, the descent, the ground itself, is as sacred as any imagined destination.

Sometimes you have to fall to climb, friend, and sometimes, finding yourself on your knees, you discover a courage and a faith the summit could never give you. 

The drop is not cruel or shameful; it is a fresh beginning, an invitation to be present.

Dust yourself off, friend, the next step is not far, and I am here to catch you, always."

Be present, watch your steps. It's a fresh beginning, trust in today & have faith. Find yourself. Discover your courage....

love, light and peace

ps/smoh

Goose bumps never lie.....

I have taken to call 'goose-bumps' truth-chills, like one of the ways that the body signals what is resonant for it, what is deeply true. 
Those bumps are like a trail to follow home...

Flow feelers...I usually get them when I feel like I'm in the flow.

The fear we feel when we consider taking the next step on our true-path is entirely normal. We live in a frightening world and our habitual range of e-motion secures us. 

It also imprisons us. 

My experience is that the key is converting the fear into the fire that pushes you outward. Not to be squelched by it, but to use it as the fiery furnace for transformation itself.

Some say it's good to keep busy, and that has some truth to it. But are you keeping busy because it's hard for you to handle 'nothingness?' 

If that's the case, busy is just another form of escape from something we have yet to face and let go of...

The only way to fail at life is to abstain...

"The underlying principle of life is the unity of the human personality. We are creative thinker and feeling animal – and we are just a man or a woman. 
We a rational mind and non rational body and we are just a living organism. We must live on all levels at once, and that is no easy task…
To be an integrated individual, we must be identified with our body and with our word. To achieve this integration one must start with being the body – you are your body. 
But it does not stop there. 
One must end with being the word – you are your word. 
But the word must come from the heart."

love, light and peace

ps/smoh

Spirituality is the foundations for good health. When you spiritually connect to that which is important to you magical and amazing things start to happen.

There is no end to the journey or complete absolute point. As with everything, there will always be seasons and variables in energy. 

How we react and the state we choose to live in most that matters. Challenges will come and go and with that more opportunities to lift our level of awareness higher. 

Yes these things diminish greatly but what we resist will persist until we can observe learn and grow...and then sweet release.

My joy is when I could not get angry anymore and became more compassionate. 

I cannot stop meditating no matter what. Interestingly am not religious. Yes it is possible to be spiritual without being religious. 

Most of all just be thankful for your assembly, who, what, why, if something made you is irrelevant. You get a look at the world.

Spirituality is the essence of human soul. 

As I go deep into longer periods of meditation, I just get more aware of blessings and sweetness of present moments. 

I am also gradually able to recognize the aura of people around me, I am able to understand myself to a greater extent and I am proud to say - 

Whatever I have and where I am at life, this is exactly what was meant for me and I love it. smile emoticon 

We judge ourselves and others each moment, heading towards non judgmental life and mind, mindfulness meditation is amazing in those terms and making you so self aware.

All human experience is a soul learning and growing, very natural and understandable. We all learn at different times. 

Don't feel bad about yourself. 

We are all one.

ps/smoh

(•_•)
\) (>
/ \ Knowledge is different than intelligence. Building one's knowledge base is a very intelligent choice for people who want to perform at a high intellectual level. 
Organized information is the raw ingredients of Understanding; not Understanding itself. We must use intelligence to prepare that dish. 
Wisdom happens after we eat it. 
Intelligence is from within and we use that intelligence to acquire and process that knowledge we are given. 
Knowledge is knowledge; intelligence is how well you use knowledge.

ps/smoh

Through our heart mind we shift.... Perception is interesting.

(•_•)
\) (>
/ \ Even very accomplished thinkers find themselves quite susceptible to 'arguing on the internet'. If they can't sort it out, who can?
I'd love to read an account of two people who enter into a conversation with diametrically opposing views, who work it out. 
Better yet would be an example of where this occurred online. 
I think genuinely communicating would be a start. Then understanding one another might follow. I don't believe the former occurred until they agreed to stop the correspondence.

I think generally what occurs is that people become so wedded to their positions that it interferes with their capacity or at least willingness to really communicate.
I don't think either attempted to overlook their position about what was going on for the other long enough to try to understand the point of view of the other. 

They were both attached to being right (about different aspects of the argument). That commitment is always going to be an obstacle to understanding the other as the other understands them which to my mind is where the real value in conversation lies.
It doesn't happen often, but when it does, it's organic in nature and so wonderful to observe. I've seen chat groups that seem to thrive in debating, act as one mind. Also, the more extensive the vocabulary, the more of a challenge it is.

I have been bewildered by this. So much debating and arguing going on, and in a shocking number of cases, by people that are claiming that they have transcended such things, that they have attained some place of freedom where they are clear that they (or anyone else) actually don't exist. 
It amazes me that such non-existent entities would find the need to argue, to demonstrate that they are right.
Thinkers like to debate, to be right. 

Thinking says nothing about the state of one's heart, and what one has actually experienced and realized. 
Too often, being able to clearly articulate truths and teachings passes for knowledge or some form of attainment - but the proof of the pudding is always in how it's actually lived, and the act of arguing usually runs counter to what they're actually purporting to know.

ps/shoh

The only meaning in life is the meaning you give it....

Wisdom can only unfold with life experiences. It's not a sprint and there are no easy short-cuts to it. It's a lifelong marathon and requires unlimited patience to learn the next lesson and the next lesson and the next....

Embracing the WHOLE journey - with its entire spectrum of bittersweet surprises - is the most challenging ingredient to multidimensional Success.
All the evil in the world, all the oppression, famines, and wars can be traced back to one thing - the unthinking and unfeeling majority of humankind who enabled the evil ones.

Most spend the first third of life living it for their parents, the second third for their children and the last third wondering how the previous two fleeted by so fast. 
WHEN will you live for YOU? 
No, this isn't about narcissism or being Self-cantered, it's about living your PURPOSE. There will always be attachments to point fingers at, and yet Life won't wait for any man or woman. 

So when, WHEN will you live to BE the real 'you'?

We own nothing but we don't get it until we reach the death bed, in the meantime we feel like we are the rulers of the world and try to rule it in our own norms. There is a life and death cycle, everyone has to face karma, even if it is an infant or 5 year old or adult or old. Nothing can stop this. 
Even if there is no religion, no terrorism we can't stop somebody's death as it is already decided before the life has to takes place. 
And death is the beginning of new life. If we believe it or not, no matter, ultimately this is the only reality 

That's why think good, do good, this is universal. Humanity is the and my reality. I believe thoughts and intentions are prayers or the observer effect to the logical minds.

Being is the beginning and end of everything. Whatever you do starts from the fact you exist. It ends with the fact that the consequence of your actions return to your own existence.

Rise up to face the day good friends, may good will and thoughts abound this day and always.

smoh